F A T G I R L S F L O A T

International Diet Day, Malissa Jones, Loving Your Neighbor, and Eclairs

2011-05-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

May 6 is International No Diet Day (INDD). It was started by Mary Evans Young in England in 1992. I know many people can't wait for this day. I appreciate it for the fact that it picks up both venom (maybe from those on a diet?) as well as supporters each year. I am thankful for a few things: (1) its creation, (2) longevity, and (3)the ability to shock those not 'in the know.'

In Mary's own words, she describes how she began INDD:

"I started INDD in the spring of '92 following two things. The first was seeing a television programme where women were having their stomachs stapled. One woman had split the staples and was in for her third op[eration]. And then a young girl of 15 committed suicide because 'she couldn't cope being fat.' She was size 14 (12 in US). I decided somebody had to stand up and try to stop this bloody madness and in the absence of anybody else, I decided it would be me. So I sent out a press release titled 'Fat Woman Bites Back'...and got some media attention. I was desperate to keep the anti-diet/size acceptance concept in the public eye. So, without really thinking about it, at the end of a live TV interview I said, 'Don't forget to celebrate No Diet Day.' ...Having declared it on prime time national TV I then set about organising a picnic in Hyde Park. Alas it rained, so we adjourned to my living room instead." ~Mary Evans Young

Goals of the INDDT:
-Celebrate the beauty and diversity of ALL our natural sizes & shapes
-Declare a personal one-day moratorium on diet/weight obsession
-Learn the facts about weight-loss dieting, health, and body size
-Recognize how dieting perpetuates violence against women
-Honor the victims of eating disorders and weight-loss surgery
-Help end weight discrimination, sizism and fatphobia

I think it is important to share these words from Mary Evans Young with you:

19th International No Diet Day
Greetings to all of you celebrating this auspicious day.
How far have we come since 1992? Well, in some respects a long, long way.
More health professionals support a 'health at every size' approach.
There are fat study groups in colleges as younger people are challenging the status quo. And people in the public eye are speaking out about their experiences.
Plus there are a few more clothes to choose from.

But, the pressure is still on us all to be other than we are...
Whether child or geriatric
There's far too many people ever ready with their knives.
And quacks peddling magic drugs and potions
Fat remains an easy and socially acceptable target and a useful vehicle for others to project their self hate.

It is not unusual for oppressed people to understand their oppressors more than they understand us.So, no surprise if people scratch their heads in puzzlement as we say, in our various ways, "get off our backs" -when 'they only have our best interests at heart'.But today is a day of pride and to use our precious creative and fighting energy to challenge institutional sizeism and the nasty trinity:
diet, media and fashion who exploit us all for their own ends.

As a British politician famously said, "Don't let the bastards get you down".
INDD is an opportunity to change the rules: encourage self acceptance and respect for all. And use your love and friendship to have a great day.... in the way it suits you. Go well.

In solidarity, Mary Evans Young
Oxfordshire, England

Sign up for and pledge a goal for International No Diet Day on Facebook!

There have been a number of good FAT things here in the NYC: A great article published in the Village Voice by Camille Dodero (@camilledodero) about FAs (Fat Admirers-- "boys who like fat chicks."

As well, my heart weeps for the recent article about Malissa Jones, once dubbed "fattest UK teenager" who, after having gastric bypass surgery is now suffering from anorexia. Find the article here: Malissa Jones

For me, INDD is about the good it does and provides, principle first, for all the good people of the earth, and for those who suffer--like Malissa Jones, and the #%^&*&@! doctors who forced(?) her to have that surgery. However, I will state as I have many times in the past, if you chose that for YOU-- I support you, because I feel you will need support. And because I personally feel-prolifically feel that EVERYONE'S JOURNEY MUST BE HONORED. If you "hate" Malissa Jones because she now suffers from anorexia, I only have 2 words for you. I whole-heartedly agree with Mary Evans Young--honor those "-Honor the victims of eating disorders and weight-loss surgery."

This is a processing point, a problem beyond skin, sometimes even beyond soul. If is for those who suffer. I love and care for you. I pray for you. I pray you gain peace--whatever form it comes in for YOU. Whatever is right for YOU. And as Ive said time and time again: as we lay our heads down tonight upon our pillows-- somewhere- some one's last words to themselves are " I ate the carrot," and for others it is "I did not eat the carrot." As long as you are nourished my sister, or my brother, may you sleep restfully. The constant physical, emotional, mental battle is--simply, feroious.

The roller coaster ride that exists, emotional and physical, exists for many. Please take a moment of silent reflection or thought for all who have tried and continue to so, some at great peril to themselves in one capacity or another--who have been victims or victimized doe to their size, weight, or some combination thereof. I always pause to think that there were a lot of women buried in muumuus, because there was nothing else. For thee, I pray.

My contribution to International No Diet Day:

If we are friends on facebook, or you can follow me on Twitter @FatGirlsFloat

I am taking a pic of everything I consume tomorrow.... a photo documentary, you might say and posting it on Twitter and Facebook.

I want people to please understand that I am pretty regimented in my eating schedule/pattern; because if I am not, then I will not eat, forget to eat, and get too caught up in work to eat... .and lived off a "diet" of coffee[kawfee as we say here in the NYC] for years. I realized that that was definitely NOT HAES as well as not healthy!

I have been told a number of times: "Kira, why are you fat? You don't eat "like fat person"?!" What the hell does that mean?! Good friends Yossi Loloi and David Garrett have seen me at my best and my worst, but not scarfing down -I should say eating- a whole pizza.{Sometimes my old 80s high school self comes out!} And they kind of just don't see me, but for some reason do not necessarily expect me to "over eat"--just maybe are surprised I am 325 pounds. To quote a beloved pastor I heard speak, "It wasn't from eating tofu, ya'll." {Ahem, tofu, not Tofu.} And I will admit that I was not angelic about my eating habits. However, my biggest battle was going for very long periods without eating. Still is, sometimes. And I am not here to apologize.

Further, I recall going to the Philly Bash and rooming with dear friend Nancy Goddess. She and I have discussed this--privately and publicly. Nancy ate constantly throughout the weekend. I was failing asleep to crunch, crunch, crunch. it did not bother me, I found it amusing, and I don't know why-- as well as endearing. She was once 420 pounds, having had gastric bypass surgery in hopes to having an operation to fix her knee, and has lost a considerable amount of weight. Nancy joked all weekend, "Kira.. what the hell is wrong with you? How are you 300 pounds? You don't eat. You gotta find yourself a chef." That last thought led me to pen "I Wanna Marry a Chef" in Nancy's honor.

Now, please don't misunderstand me. Eat what you want. What I believe might be different from some: eat what you want until you are satisfied, be present, try not to eat 'on the go' (hence my disdain for those who eat in the subway--more because I don't like to witness the oddity and smell!), unless you HAVE to; and to try to plan to some degree. Why? It works for me. I like structure, and for the bulk of my professional career-- and waking hours-- I need both fuel, and convenience; so bringing my breakfast and lunch work for me. I eat what I choose to eat, what works for me, and for the physical ailments from which I have looooooong [since age 13!] suffered: PCOS, anemia, and a lack of enough B12. To be direct, I kinda live like it is LENT all year 'round. It might be structured eating, but it is not no diet.

I have a hard work schedule…... I am up at 5am! Leave for work at 6am-ish, and well...... do not live in a work area that you can buy lunch….. so I have to bring it. I know that by sharing it leaves me open to criticism, so I am actually interested in what people will have to say. Judgment is passed around like people giving out Halloween candy. Ba dump bump. Cast ye, your first stone. I do not wanna feel judged by what I do eat, or what I don't eat--or how much. By anyone. Oh, right.. and I, like everyone else, is entitled to my own damn opinion. I do not need to tote the party line; I am independent. Still convinced I am the Sarah Palin of Size Acceptance. I don't know, for some reason I just FEEL rogue.

And.... most funny (to me) was one year when Velvet was in town and we had dinner with Yossi, Substania Jones(?),and her friend Pony from college!--Pony's response was the very best I have ever heard, as he inquired about International No Diet Day, he said" What do you guys do? Sit around and eat eclairs?" Not a bad idea, Pony. Not a bad idea at all. Please, I hope someone eats a damn eclair! I don’t really like éclairs, but SOMEHOW I feel obliged to eat one every May 6th, just because Pony said that! So, I guess one goal tomorrow will be to eat an éclair.

With love and NO diet sense, just good eating-- whatever that means!

Love you all....

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
New York City….. and lives in walking distance to Veniero’s! See you there?!
Please hit me up @FatGirlsFloat on Twitter and #CheerTheEclair. If I get enough of a following/response I will send pics and/or video of "The Eclair Eating"

ps. it is currently 11:43 p.m. EST.. dude I had 4 hours of sleep last night.. I wanna GO to bed!

Fat Girl Flea Market 2011

2011-04-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

It is that time again.... where all fat, plump, plus size, curvy, fluffy, and the extra va-va-voom join together for... cheap fashion!

is where you can find all the information you need... how to donate, and where exactly we will be on Saturday
April 30th, 2011 in New York City.

Join the Facebook page for up to the minute info! FatGirl Flea Market 2011 Facebook

I will see you there!

KIRA

My Very Own Moment of History.... with Geraldine Ferraro

2011-03-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

Circa the mid-1990s.
I was on a plane, yet again. I said in the window seat. And if I remember correctly, I had used my own seat belt extender from AmpleStuff. You always expect the worst on planes for some reason. Like the person is going to look you over with an a snotty attitude, eye roll, etc. And I was probably fatter than Kevin Smith, but they kept my ass on the plane. My shuttles to and fro DC were always pleasant and extremely regular. How regular? The custodian for the ladies room at LGA was named Olga. If you are still there, Olga-- "Hello again." Smile.

So, I get settled and I notice there is a middle aged woman in a nice suit taking her seat on the aisle in my row. She greeted me with a warm smile. I wasn't worried-- LGA's Air Terminal shuttle to Dulles was a relatively short ride.

So here I am, bored with whatever I am reading, and I look over at this lady, and am thinking to myself. I ought to tell her she really looks like Geraldine Ferraro. Hmm.....I would love to give her that compliment, but... well, thinking to myself--you never know how someone would react to that. What if she was a Republican?!

The flight attendant shows up to serve the drink. The lady next to me whips out her AMEX card, and purchases something on the sky mall--from what I recall nothing particularly expensive, important, or exciting.

As she is handing the card to the flight attendant.....I looked over and read "Geraldine Ferraro." Hot damn! Well, I know she didn't leave home without it. Now, I never thought that I was going to grow and be President, but...I did serve as a page for the State of Connecticut--so I had my political moments and political interest. And this made me happy because she was the first woman political candidate on a presidential level.

I felt happy that Ferraro--despite all the controversy and crap that followed, that she was chosen, and ran. It mattered not that they did not win, the victory, I felt at that time--and still do, was that she was a woman--and another rung on the ladder was taken upward when she ran for VP.

So I looked at GF when the flight attendant had finished, and said "You know I was going to tell you that you looked just like Geraldine Ferraro; but based on your interaction with the flight attendant.....not only do I think you look like her, I think you are her!"

"Yes I am," she said, warmly with a half-chuckle. I have to say she was really lovely and very pleasant. She saw me as a kind of admirer, a woman younger than she, and a person who sat on the same plane she did. She never "looked me over", or at any other part of my body. She looked me in the eye. And ya know what? I appreciated that.

I told her I thought she was great. I know it was not an easy thing to live through--the good, the bad, the press, the indifferent. But, that her choice to run was an act of courage. Truly her life was never the same. But, I appreciated her courage. She had fought for women's rights even as a lawyer.

Somedays I feel like the Sarah Palin of fat acceptance, because I feel what I feel, which sometimes does not 100% agree with the party line in one degree or another--whatever form that may be-- and that makes me feel very Sarah Palinesque, um, I mean rogue. [I might join her for s'mores, but I challenge her at shooting. Hence the photo. She does not seem to agree with Michele Obama's tactics (sans tact?), I mean strategies, for her childhood obesity propaganda, I mean initiative. Ahem.]

Now, out here in FATLAND, I must say that one may not agree with everyone, nor will everyone agree with me. BUT, I am fiercely sincere in wanting everyone to be respectful,feel respected and included, and agreeing to disagree if need be. We are here to celebrate our differences, and build bridges, not create walls. It is those same differences that we try to elevate,celebrate,lighten and enlighten among our own overlapping communities as well as society at large, medium, or small.

So, thank you Geraldine. I know I thanked you in person, but I am just sending you this reminder and adieu out into the cyberspace of the world, hoping it reaches you where ever you may be. Even Sarah Palin commented about Ferraro on her own FaceBook,"She broke one huge barrier and then went on to break many more. May her example of hard work and dedication to America continue to inspire all women." I say--Amen to that.

A nod, a smile, and a wink, for you Geraldine. You really are up in the sky this time. God bless America.

Waving from here,
KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NEW YORK CITY

A Film with a FAT HEROINE--Ten Stories Tall screens at NYWIFT, NYC

2011-03-20T14:33:00.001-07:00

Hello ya'll

Hope you are enjoying Spring-like weather where-ever you are!

On Tuesday March 22, right here in the NYC, there will be a screening hosted by New York Women in Film and Television of Ten Stories Tall. One of the producers, Merle Augustin is a very nice lady!.. and thus-- a woman in film.

This original, independent screenplay is the debut feature from award winning film maker, size acceptance team member and supporter, and all around swell dude--David R. Garrett.

Below you can find links of your choice, a blog interview done by yours truly, and the info!

Hope you can join us........ this is a rare gem... a New York City tale that ultimately shows a lovely plus-sized woman in a positive way.

Hope to see you there!

Best regards,

KIRA

NYWIFT screening series: Ten Stories Tall
Event: Tuesday Mar. 22, 2011

This screening series celebrates the work of NYWIFT members. Whenever possible, the filmmakers are present for discussion and socializing after their works are shown. Screenings take place at Anthology Film Archives, 32 2nd Avenue @ 2nd Street.

There will be a Q&A following the screening, and an after-party to follow, with Cash Bar and complimentary food @ Dempsey's Pub, 61 2nd Avenue, between 3rd and 4th Streets.

This month, the NYWIFT screening series is proud to present the moving family drama Ten Stories Tall.

When her best friend, Anna, dies, grief-stricken Grace, played by Tovah Feldshuh, confesses to their lifelong affair. Her revelation strikes at the core of the friendship between the relatives of the two women and provokes a confrontation with Anna's daughter, portrayed by Ally Sheedy. It also spurs unexpected journeys of self-discovery for every member of the family. The film also stars Josh Hamilton, Sherri Saum, Jim Gaffigan, Jennifer Regan, Emily Skinner, Jean Brassard and Simon Jutras.

Written and directed by David Garrett; produced by Merle Augustin and Kaer Vanice.

David Garrett, writer/director, made his first film, Your Children: The Testimony of Charles Manson, as an adaptation of his play of the same name. His next short, Clown Car, won several festival awards and was distributed by Warner Brothers. He’s been a semi-finalist in the Nicholl Fellowship competition and won the Ezra Litwak Award for Distinction in Screenwriting from Columbia University, where he earned an MFA in film. His short Warlord debuted at the Rotterdam Film Festival and won best short at the South by Southwest festival in 2008. Ten Stories Tall is his first feature.

Marle Augustin was born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. She left Haiti to become a journalist for the Miami Herald, the Sun-Sentinel and the Associated Press, before moving on to filmmaking with the multi-media documentary Indivisible: Local Heroes Changing America and narrative filmmaking with an MFA in directing at Columbia University. Before Ten Stories Tall, her first feature, she produced several short films including Warlord in 2008, winner of the Grand Jury Prize at the SXSW Film Festival and 2007 official selection at the International Rotterdam Film Festival.

Kaer Vanice studied photography and fiction at University of Kansas and transitioned to narrative filmmaking with an MFA in producing at Columbia University. He has worked as a producer on both shorts and feature films. His credits include Warlord, winner of the 2008 Grand Jury Prize at the SXSW Film Festival and 2007 official selection at Rotterdam Film Festival, as well as Padre Nuestro, winner of the 2007 Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival.

Sponsored by:
NYWIFT programs, screenings and events are supported, in part, by grants from the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs in partnership with the City Council, the New York Council of the Arts and

A Valentine Poem for my FAT Sisters

2011-02-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

Hello my loves, my FAT sisters:

It is for you that I toil.
No less. I am a silent sufferer
With too much of a buffer
of too little time, and not enough dime
To do ALL that I HAVE to.
Be it duty or obligation
I find it a great sensation
to tell a story, of you in all your fat glory
to a nation who defiles us,
with admirers that beguile us (and often don't tell the truth.)
Ah, yes, save the youth.
Practice what you must, and preach if you have to.
Do what you can with what you have.
Make sure to treat yourself right all the while.
Know the strongest of light comes from within,
and united light makes a gleaming glare at inquisitors
to attempt to blind us.
An eye for an eye, makes us blind….
And if we are blind, can we truly not see?
Look with your heart, it’s all there.
Never despair.
Rise up, if you can, and shake that fist.
Do not be mean in your quest for change-
Recall how to walk tall with nonviolent benevolence.
Forgive and remember.

And in the meantime…….
Delight in your delicious diva-hood
Do it right--and be kind to yourself.
May you remember those who walked a similar path
With less light from above or within
Nod your head at their tribute, and let them rest—but never forget.
But hear my words and know my heart
As I reveal it all in small doses
I long for your poses of smiles
Happy within
Able to grow-
to pass on what you know.
To show others we have been here the whole time.
Share, even when you don't want to,
Someone, yes, someone needs your help.
Treat each other right,
For that’s the real delight, finding a friend.
And sometimes that might even be yourself.
But, don’t worry.
And I am right here with you.

Love yourself.
Love your body.
Love your neighbor.

With love to you and yours on this Valentine eve 2011 from New York City,

KIRA NERUSSKAYA

AMOR VINCIT OMNIA
Love Conquers All

Maura Kelly: Your Prejudice is MUCH BIGGER than My Body

2010-10-30T04:57:00.000-07:00

A few words on Marie Claire/Maura Kelly-Gate:

In February 2010, I was invited by Joanna Coles and her team for a focus group, informal type of consulting regarding the plus-size world. As we went around the table introducing ourselves; I was the first person to say thank you for having a major publication embrace plus-size beauty at that level. I also made it clear that I did not like the title of Ashley Falcon’s column, “Big Girl in a Skinny World.” As true as it all might be; the mere title continues the divisive attitude in fashion, about beauty, and in the world. We are walking, ok-it seems shuffling at times—toward size neutrality and-as one would hope—inclusiveness. A title separating people, particularly women, and by size demands separation rather than unification. Where is the old attitude of ‘we are all in this together?”What would have been wrong with calling the column “Big Girl Style?” I continue not to understand why, if you take the chance, and gain another demographic—with a loyal following and money to burn….would you kick us in the teeth like this? Are you to tell me that an editor at Marie Claire read Maura’s post and said, “OK, publish it.” No one had a freaking brain in their body (not matter what its size!) to say “Gee, honey, you might wanna re-think this, or at least read it aloud.” Meanwhile, Joanna, you have disappointed me.

That meeting ended with ‘we should all eat the cupcakes everyone was staring at on the table. I thought to myself, “Are they buying off fatties with cupcakes?” But, cupcakes in New York City being what they are: popular and a staple treat among the popular. I did not find deeper political meaning behind it; I simply saw it as hospitality.

What –sort of—cracked me up about Marie Claire/Maura Kelly-Gate was how ill informed Maura’s post was. I was saying to myself… has this girl ever actually READ the internet? No worries, love, you did not set us back on our journey toward size equality. In fact, thanks for uniting New York, Philly, and San Francisco and the web with your words. See how powerful they were. They united rather than divided.

What FREAKING purpose did her post have? It seemed to be HER well-formed, well-prejudiced opinion about hating fat people: walking across a room, on the street, and on-gasp!-TV. She DID NOT See the show—so the post was not a critique of the show really. It was a critique that fat people should not, and should not be allowed to be affectionate on TV. Ok, so why not use your own blog to write those explosive comments? Why get paid for such garbage. If that was anti-Obama speech, racial epithets, and/or the like—we would be on CNN talking about this. O, but it is just fat people. They should get a room, right? Hate speech is hate speech, yo! Why was this allowed in a professional setting?

The photo that was included of Mike and Molly did not show any fat rolls. Of course, despite being TV stars—they are ‘fat.’ So the costume powers that be will certainly cover them up at all costs. Do NOT expect to see any skin except from neck up, wrist down, or below ankle. I would not be surprised if the characters have on gloves, scarves, and socks at all times! But, dude, really? There were no fat rolls in that picture of the characters. Really, Maura, really? [Edit!-wait! I found a pic of Melissa McCarthy with forearms showing. A shirt to the elbow—how kind of you to let her show skin.]

The writing and the structure was, sorry to say, babyish. I am not a paid blogger, no one is putting money in my pocket….and I have put a nice chunk of cash into a project it is taking me longer than I had hoped to complete because I work a demanding job for a living. However, we are not drunks and heroine addicts. We are fat. And yes, Maura, to answer your question: I find you to be an insensitive jerk. But I am gonna love you anyway. And I am gonna forgive you anyway.

I am not asking to cut her any slack, but I am asking for us to be understanding. If, as reported, Maura Kelly is a recovering anorexic—despite her fat hatred—personal political— and professional—she comes across as a person who is still healing. And ‘still healing’ means ‘unhealed.’ I sincerely wish her well in her journey, a far different one from mine, from ours. But along your continued journey, Maura, I request you cease your hate speech, especially from the seat of a national publication site.

Even Natalie Zutter from Screen who felt that “Maura Kelly Has a Point” as a former (?) anorexic:

Kelly's mistake is in sounding too chipper and oblivious in parts: when defending her argument by saying that she has "plump" friends, and by offering
breezy weight-loss advice that seemed unaware that for obese people, losing weight is not as easy as a quick jog on the treadmill. But the fact that she was a self-confessed former anorexic was going to sabotage her position from the beginning, which is incredibly ironic--who better to understand body disorders than someone who has suffered?

I guess it is because of her suffering that one would think she would be a bit more open-minded, Natalie. I am sure Maura might have suffered ridicule due to her, what I assume might have been ‘extreme thinness’ at one time in her life. That is kind of why it is more puzzling to me.

Zutter feels there was a misunderstanding. Aww. She feels that the characters of Mike and Molly are not obese.

There's a misunderstanding here: while the characters of Mike and Molly are
overweight, they are not obese; so they weren't the appropriate subjects for an article about obesity.

Are you sure about that, Natalie? Um, did the character bios come with a BMI? If the actors are obese; it would be their doctors to make that call—and McCarthy and Gardell to reveal that information, should they so desire. And what if they are? Their size is not preventing them from doing their job. What bothers me most is the fact that why is it that fat love is usually depicted with a fat woman and a fat man. There are plenty of men who are not fat who love fat women, and vice versa. Onlythe latter has been over exposed and the former hardly ever touched. How about a fat woman character and her adoring, loving, thin husband? Were is that one, television land?

Zutter goes on to say that when Jezebel [a place for obesity glorification, according to Zutter] picked up the story, it seemed shocking that Kelly was called a bigot, in very simple terms; which, by her post, resembles a classic textbook, dictionary definition of the very word.

Zutter continues to state that a case cannot be solved on body type, even though she thinks the following:

...Then you find out that you can't solve a case based on body type. Kelly never suggested that you could. Kelly doesn't pretend to have any right to judge obese people's morals; she simply admits something that takes a lot of guts, that she doesn't jibe with the norm of blindly accepting a patently unhealthy lifestyle.

Natalie Zutter, dear, since when has fat been blindly accepted and by whom? Moreover, are all fat people unhealthy? Um, you and Maura should have a cup of tea and read the internet. We have answered that already.

Kelly’s post was not about obese people’s morals; it was about the size of our bodies and making the connection that because we are fat we are immoral.

Yet, Zutter seems to feel WE are the bullies, by protesting Kelly’s comments, we are defensively celebrating. Well, Ms. Zutter, you call it as how you see it; I call it a reaction to negative biased media. And the disgust and tiredness of having it hurled our way. We are calling you, and Ms. Kelly on HER words.

Yes, Kelly technically says that she would be "grossed out" by watching two
obese people kiss--but she doesn't linger on that statement the way that later
commenters have. It's a point of comparison to her real issue, a relevant one:
The disturbing examples of obesity in culture. Let me repeat that: I'm not
talking about overweight/fat people, I'm talking about those who are morbidly obese.

Regarding “disturbing examples of obesity in culture.” Right. Remind me where they are again? O, yes, fat people walking. Kissing. Living. Breathing air.

DOES ANY ONE ELSE SEE THE IRONY IN ALL OF THIS SOUNDING LIKE SCHOOL KIDS IN AT RECESS???

Here is what I have to say: I am disappointed in Marie Claire. Kelly’s post, and allowing it, shows the real and utter distaste of Kelly, but it also shows a real and uber distaste of fat people by Marie Claire by its editors and its authors—you allowed this to be published on your blog, which means you claim not only notification of its content, but therefore, agreement with it. At no time did you make a disclaimer.

As U.S. citizens we are allowed life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And tha includes fat people being happy, and loving each other, themselves, family and friends. That includes showing affection. And occaionally with tongue. Behind closed doors. Outside. On the street. In movie theatres. In cars. Wherever.

I think Maura Kelly will have more healing to do. I am empathetic to her journey, and wish her love and light. Frankly, I think she needs it. I always come to the same place whether it is a drive-by comment on the street, a blatent remark on the subway, or the like: I end up feeling pity for that person, sympathy, sadness.

I truly feel that by negative name-calling and blogging with negative words toward the author makes us no different than a bully in a school yard. We are better than that. We have lived our lives being better than that. And we should continue to do so.

What Kelly needs is forgiveness. Through forgiveness we can keep moving forward. I didn’t say we shouldn’t call her out for her bigoted comments; I just feel we should forgive her for it. With such an action we can rise above the hate. After all, FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

Let’s look at them from a positive note. Her words brought us together as a community once again. And we got something positive out of it: kissing and affection, unity, press, an opportunity to reach out to the public and “fatty on the street,” and a reminder that we are strongest when we work together.

Yes, I believe in loving your neighbor. And I believe that your enemy is also your neighbor.

Maura Kelly, your prejudice is much bigger than my body. But I am using my big-assed body to forgive you. Know why? It contains my big-ass heart.
I see this as simple as Hate vs. Love. I choose LOVE.

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
New York City Big Fat Kiss-In participant, mouthing off from her kisser!

FullBeauty Project Opens in Milan

2010-10-27T03:13:00.001-07:00

On October 28th Milan, my good friend photographer Yossi Loloi opens his exhibition the FullBeauty project at the Gian Paolo Barbieri Studio.

As artists, we have to just keep pecking away at the mountain of ideas and hopes we have in our head.

His work speaks for itself. His committment to fat women is one of beauty and love. He is definately an admirer of big women, and from the very primordial appreciation. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Yossi behold beauty in all of these brave women of size.

The beauty of it all is that the honesty of the pictures, the lighting, and the ladies who were brave enough to pose is ever present--and the idea to a whole new level beyond what Nimoy was able to do, for example.

Please view all pictures at FULL BEAUTY PROJECT
Good luck today, Loloi!

Love,
KIRA

Girthful Girl’s Rachel Kempster, Yuliya Rachel from IGIGI.com and Gaelle Prudencio from France

2010-08-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Kira Nerusskaya @ Full Figured Fashion Week from Paul Rosovsky on Vimeo.

Girthful Girl’s Rachel Kempster, Yuliya Rachel from IGIGI.com and Gaelle Prudencio from France

And in that order!

I was waiting for something, but could wait no more. That being the case, please enjoy this 17 minute mash-up of beauty of these 3 amazing women at Full Figured Fashion Week, making their mark on the global plus-size world.

Alright I will admit I probably went a bit over the top on my comments about UK fashion designer Julien MacDonald, who called plus-size models a “joke.” But, it was fresh in my mind at the time. [] Sir, the “joke” is on you. Why do I find it ironic that his name is MacDonald! Of all things! Dude, have you ever feasted your eyes on Sage Salzer for example? For the record, (and not that it matters!), but I am certainly straight; however, I think she is “dreamy,’ because having met her once--the beauty oozes out from the inside of her kind heart. And there are countless others from the iconic Velvet to Fluvia Lacerda, the Brazilian Bombshell.

If I was super-mean or violent, he would be visiting a dentist! Knowing my contrite self, I would probably ask my Uncle to give him a discount on new teeth.
I always have that inner-nice gene working overtime. I really wish I could bitch-slap it into submission and be a little more—a lot more?—coarse—in letting out both my true New Yorker side, and the Sicilian. (Have to be careful with that one, WE did invent the Mafia.)

Someone who has no problem showing her sunshiney self is Rachel Kempster.

Girthful Girl’s Rachel Kempster

To me, Rachel is not only a PR magishionista, an author, a blogger, and bubbly person; BUT I like and appreciate her honesty in her journey—as well as her courage to make the journey. I like that she chose, quite simply, to get involved and make a positive contribution! She plunged into the blogger world motivated to DO something, something especially positive. I also love that she used her wonderful PR skills to aid Gwen Devoe and elevate Full Figured Fashion Week to another level. Even though she would like to hug a fat girls she meets on the street along her daily journey—and take them all to Re/Dress—and I advocate for all fat girls to please hug Rachel, nicely!—make sure you also thank her for doing such a great job to help—you.

No matter how tired you are, take a moment to “Become Your Dream” (DeLaVega)

I have been pretty quiet, over-working myself and probably over-thinking too much. But what you may or may not know is that to complete a project such as this, with only occasional help (and that means someone else holding the camera and doing sound because I refuse to use a tripod and then interview if I need to be in the shot.) I have struggled (physically, metaphysically, and financially) quite a lot along this road beginning in 2006, and have done so silently. Partly because that is how I am made, partly because I have a 13 hour a day job, and partly because I am very private when it comes to certain struggles. Most struggles. Almost all struggles? However, never once, when it was past mid-night and I was crawling into bed, ankles swollen from sitting in the more or less same position, right side of my neck partially if not practically completely numb for holding it on a tilt—did I ever think that this was not all worth it. And at 5am, my alarm clock squeals the weather from 106.7 Lite FM. (yes, I know, the horror that I am THIS old/young and listening to…... that…...)

And so I shall continue. Not having enough time to read blogs like I should, not having time to update my darn FaceBook, nor enough time to do what I hate most—complain.

But I do have a brief moment between trying to loosen the tense muscles, wondering if I am causing myself permanent nerve damage in my neck, and putting in my retainer to breathe, to sigh, to dream, to envision I see myself walking the damn red carpet [and who I am with always changes!] answering Joan Rivers, “Who I am wearing? Why, Yuliya Rachel of Igigi, of course.”

IGIGI’s Yulia Rachel

It is all about energy, and good energy produces good things. That is what I got from my fashion guru, Yulia Rachel of Igigi.com. I recalled reading about my friend Corinna Makris of This Lush Life and A Celebration of Curves venturing out to Igigi in San Francisco for a tour and blog post.

I have an, albeit small, section of my teeny tiny closet (you call that a closet?!) dedicated to Igigi wear. In fact, introduced my aunt to Igigi, and she bought her wedding dress from Yuliya this past April. You go, Mrs. Banwell!

So it was nice to meet the lady behind the label, and even get the chance to laugh in Russian. I loved interviewing Yuliya not only because of her good vibes and personal dedication to full-figured/plus-sized fashion; but she wants you to love you, because you are just fine the way you are. To quote her, “There is nothing wrong with you.” I feel that you may or may not change your body, but you can always change your mind.

Good Divas have Good Taste

And I would like to shout out to FatBitch Erica Watson who *almost* wore her tangerine version of the same Igigi dress to that FFFW panel. She promised that one day we will wear our Igigi dresses somewhere. And we should have a camera following us, girl. It would be hilarious! O, the poor New Yorkers who would suffer our wrath! I laugh because this summer I have been personally verbally accosted on 2 different occasions when women (1 young and ‘skinny’ and 1 old and overweight) yelled “Precious! Precious!” to me. Now, if they did that when Erica was with me, I would like to say—you have that partly correct BEE-YOTCHES---SHE IS IN THE MOVIE!

But, precious, in the true meaning (including Precious) we are: courageous, strong, and moving forward. And doing it with style. And Igigi.

And if you have not voted for Erica Watson at the Brooklyn Museum, shame on you! Go DO IT!

You can also WATCH Erica Watson on “Sex on TV” which airs Sunday, August 15th at 8pm EST on The TV Guide Network. You can also see Erica’s blog at HuffingtonPost.com

Gaelle Prundencio

Viva jolie French blogger! You just want to hug her, she is so darn cute. And you have to love the pictures of her on her blog; it looks like Velvet could make a cameo appearance around any corner of Paris.

What drew me to Gaelle was her honesty and candidness on how just eating a sandwich at a café in shorts and a short sleeve shirt is considered “unacceptable” for plus-size people in France. O, Kim Brittingham—how about that for showing beyond the elbow? Get the latest on reading about her hips, Read My Hips at www.kimwrites.com.

Since filming there in Paris in 2007, I was not surprised; but always saddened by this, and it makes me want to spit for lack of a better catch phrase. THIS—in a land revered for its sauces, yet doesn’t think fat people worthy of vegetables. Yes, yes, yes. I got it on tape!

Despite our fat rampage, the war on the obese, the hot and cold reception from the media on people of size plus, and them getting it wrong most of the time, as well as the discomfort (of watching others deflect their garbage on to an innocent fat by-stander—which just might be YOU, by the way) remember that the grass is only greener over the septic tank. In case you want to go outside and wear your tank top and eat your sandwich, there is one of your fat sisters in some town or village in France sweating inside, probably in long sleeves, dreaming for a freedom of body size in a land where its very own motto of Liberté, égalité, fraternité doesn’t hold up.

Life. Got it.

Liberty. It could use some work, frankly.

Pursuit of happiness. That is up to you, baby.

And if you haven’t learned anything from Gwen Devoe—learn this: If you don’t have it, create it!

I humbly remain yours,

Fashionably rockin’ my certain summer uniform—an Old Navy tank and denim skirt complete with FitFlops. No worries, as I work in front of the computer. No one sees me except my tea cup (as in Earl Grey, not canine, my Dell laptop, and some dude from Seattle.

Rockin’ it in the air-conditioned East Village with her cash-flo going to ConEdison,
KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NEW YORK CITY

FOR WOMEN WHO ARE FAT, WE SALUTE YOU! Well, ROCK AND ROLL DOES!

2010-07-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

Fat Girls Rock. We the fat: the many, the proud have known this from the dawn of time. We put the roll in the rock, and I am sure with a back stage all-access pass or 2, can and have, put the rock in the roll, looked under the rock, had the rock look under us, or better yet—had the rock play with our rolls. Nonetheless, fat girls and rock and roll go to together like bacon and eggs. Mmmmm… bacon. Wait, I digress. PS. Bacon day is Sept. 4th, 2010.

But, someone else thought that fat chicks were worthy of a musical tribute. Executive producer A.J. Confessore, a lifelong lover of large ladies (and he has done the old daytime TV spots to prove it!), put the roll in his rock to show us some love. He felt that it was “High time someone mounted a musical salute, because these women deserve it!” Um, yes we do. Maybe he just has thought that more rock and roll men should mount us?! I’d agree, Mr. Bon Jovi. [If only he were single!]

Now, I know you, like me have—at least once—either done karaoke (drunk or otherwise), sang in the shower (I don’t if the neighbors are home!), or danced around your room or in front of your bathroom mirror—with the hairbrush, or with the ‘invisible’ microphone singing out to something that made you get your groove rockin’. Now, don’t make me quote Joan Cusack from Working Girl when she said,”Sometimes I sing and dance around in my living room in my underwear doesn’t make me Madonna. Never will.” Ah yeah, but it is fun and certainly makes your inner rock star come out for a mere moment. The lights, the head-bangin’ hair, the fireworks, the high heels, the roar of the crowd, the illegal downloads, the……the music.

On this 13 track disc, with cover art from artist Les Toil, you will find all your fat rockin’ faves, as well as an introduction of the lovely plus-figured Celissa Stratton belting out Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” as seen by the so-inspired cover art. "Since this is a salute to fat chicks, my intention was to make the song sound FAT," says vocalist Celisa Stratton. "So I changed the key and utilized my full vocal range to create a whole new version of the song. Hopefully in listening to this track, people will see the point of view of a proud fat woman who has a whole lotta love to give." Come to think of it, I do remember watching Robert Plant on Jay Leno eons ago, and him mentioning liking fuller filgured gals. oops, nope, that was Robert Palmer, RIP.

This ALL-Star Tribute to FAT CHICKS features qualified members of the likes of Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Cinderella, LA Guns, and my personal favorite, comedian Don “Don’t hold the Whisky” Jameson, who rocked “I like Big Butts” [Don, have you seen mine?!]—and more! Let’s not forget the contribution of Danger Danger’s lovely long locked Ted “Unholy” Poley—AND Bret Michael’s band plays on!

Now, folks, let's not forget that all these tribute songs are new recordings of old favorites, like, when you really had even bigger hair than you do now--like, you rememba the 80s, righhhhht? Featured songs include bee-bopping Unkinny Bop originally recorded by Poison, Split by Kiss....get out your make-up and rock. Who was your fave KISS character? Always liked Peter Chris as the CAT, and have personally met the Alien, Ace Frehley--who was a kick-in-the pants-pisser of a funny nice guy. And another featured tune is BIG BOTTOM originally featured in This is Spinal Tap! You so gotta love Michael McKeon in that while shiney lame fabric. Yes, more cushion for the pushin'. And I do recall Confessore saying that they recorded it in Dolby, and yes, the Marshall amps did go up to 11!

The project has gotten coverage from ivillage.com and jezebel.com, with specific music coverage from the likes of Blabbermouth, and, of course, Metal Sludge—for those sure-fire, all-out rockers.

So, fire up your old myspace and give it a listen.

You can purchase the album, concert tees, and plus-size t-shirts featuring the bad ass Leppelin-inspired cover art. and even a print of the cover art!

So, consider buying a disc, or getting a download, turning it up to 11, and rocking out! You can get all your info here at SplitScreen Entertainment.

Dude... I thought I heard the producer say he got some guff for calling it a salute to "fat chicks." If you read and love Lara Frater like I read and love Lara Frater, then what gives, yo? She is my very favorite--and best illustration of--a self-described 'fat chick'. Rock and roll is good enough for her, and hells bells she is certainly good enough for rock and roll, so how about showing some love back to someone who is putting time and effort to honor full figured women in music? Certainly that is worth some saluting, yea?

Well, you know the rest… we DO make the ROCKin’ world go ‘ROUND’, don’t we? You bet your lighter (or a visual image of a lighter on your iphone) we do!

Rock Out! and Rock On!

KIRA NERUSSKAYA, lover both the rock and the roll!
NEW YORK CITY

Fat Heroine Siezes the screen in Ten Stories Tall by David Garrett

2010-06-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Ten Stories of Questions with Writer/Director David Garrett of
TEN STORIES TALL

When I met David Garrett (My favorite Dave of all the Dave's I know) at the 2006 NAAFA Convention and he said he lived int he city--uptown, though. And he "was into film." I thought we would be friends. That, and he had long hair, and I kinda got this thing for long hair......... and we never went out for a beer or much else made contact.

It was not until New Years in Massachusetts(again?!)2006-2007 when we finally got to talking. With some serious ass bad jokes(mostly mine--I say mostly!) and a ride back to Manhattan with some very serious cool tunes(David has amazing ecletic taste in music!)a friendship was forming.

It was not until we had a pretty amazing conversation and connection, where I revealed my thoughts that "all movies are about love," and after seeing a few homework exercises he did for Columbia Film School, and his film shorts where I straightened up, gasped, and said: "You're brilliant." With a shy grin, and some homemade American chooped suey from Chicago, we listened to each other and heard and understood the pssion for sharing our perspectives with the world--perspectives that seem to bridgethe gap between old-fashioned and modern and are firmly rooted in goodness and kindness, minutiae and miracles.

TEN STORIES TALL starring Ally Sheedy (yes, THAT Ally Sheedy), I am proud to announce is showcasing at the Brooklyn INternational Film Festival on June 6th and June 13th in Brooklyn.

I thought I would ask my good friend and filmmaker to share a few words about his current project and the light he most eloquently has shown on having a fat heroine character played by Emily Skinner. She does a fantastic job, as does the entire cast. Not a dull moment or performance!

I brought my boss to the June 6th screening and she said " It was amazing how delicately David wove everything together. He hit on everything that we see and deal with in life." She was crying; I was glad. And most of all, very proud.

Finally, I kept telling him how I wanted the recipe below, as we spent one afternoon hanging out with the Burns' who give great face in the film! might I add. I told my Aunt Meemie about it, and she thought it sounded awesome. I verify it tasted awesome, so please enjoy a few fun questions with filmmaker David Garrett and his great recipe for yummy Baked Apples With Barley-Chorizo Pilaf Time-- when you sit with friends and chat, or enjoy a great film.

Floor 1: The Basics!

1. What inspired you to write this film?

DG: New York is my hometown, and I wanted to write about it. Something like Thornton Wilder’s Our Town – a simple and poetic look at the way we live and die. I began sketching out characters and their stories in 2003, and for two years played around with it all, not really sure I was getting anywhere. Then in 2005 I lost my brother to alcohol, and for the next two years my family suffered loss after loss: my uncle and godfather, my aunt, two family friends, and finally my father in 2007. Such relentless tragedy saps our strength, and though it can inspire empathy, clarity, and an urge to give comfort, it can also inspire anger, bitterness, and even faithlessness. These losses filled my life with raw emotion, and I used the still-developing Ten Stories Tall as a vessel into which I could channel it all.

Floor 2: Keeping It Real!

2. Are any of the scenes autobiographical?

DG: No; not in the strictest sense. About 90% of it is pulled from incidents in my life, but all of it is fictionalized.

Floor 3: Decisions, decisions!

3. Which character do you feel you like the most, or feel the closest to and why? Or which one do you feel you like the least and why?

DG: Why would you ask me to choose among my children?

Floor 4: Getting it done!

4. What did you like most and least about production?

DG: I love everything about production, except delays. There’s a lot of waiting around on a film set while other departments finish their work, and that’s to be expected. However, unexpected delays, whether from negligence, stupidity, accident, or Act of God – doesn’t matter – is going to piss me off. They’re also par for the course, though, so I’m never pissed for very long. Guess I just love it all.

Floor 5: Made in New York: from the Eastside, to the Westsiiiiiiiide!

5. For those on the East Side--Do you feel that New York City acts as an additional background character in the film?

DG: It’s been said about Our Town that it details the minutiae of daily life against the backdrop of the eternal. For Ten Stories Tall, New York is that backdrop.

For those on the West Side--What were the biggest challenges of filming in the city?

DG: Traffic.

Floor 6: Going up!

6. Why did you choose to include a plus-sized heroine?

DG: This story is about familial relationships under terrible strain, and there’s not much that can put a strain on a relationship quicker than fat. I grew up (and am still) fat, and know very well how powerful fat can be, and the kind of hatred it can inspire in others. So it’s a personal choice, as well as an excellent device for dramatic conflict. Also, fat women are kinda hot.

Floor 7: A positive plus!

7. What do you hope plus-size women take away from your film?

DG: Besides just loving the movie, I hope that they can feel like a little bit of equilibrium has been restored to their daily lives, which can so often be filled with attacks on their self-esteem. I hope that they can see that the beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, and damn sexy girl that they are doesn’t have to go on a diet.

Floor 8: Would you like that gift wrapped?

8. What would you like your audience to leave the theatre with or thinking about? If you could wave a magic wand and force your audience to do one thing when they leave the theatre, what would that be?

DG: I would force the audience to return with five of their friends.

Floor 9: Reaching the Top!

9. Have you ever experienced a moment when you felt ten stories tall? If not, what do you think would make you feel that way?

DG: Oh yes. I think we’ve all had moments like that. What’s important is that we learn how to savor those moments, long after they’re gone, and how to draw upon them for strength in those times when we feel like we’re in the basement.

Floor 10: What’s next for you?

10. What is next for you?

DG: A horror film called Holy Oak. It’s set on a Georgia plantation at the end of the Civil War, and is about a Confederate matriarch haunted by her dead sons’ ghosts as she waits for her husband to return from war. The Shining meets Gone With the Wind.

...and a recipe:

Baked Apples With Barley-Chorizo Pilaf Time: About 1 1/2 hours
1 tablespoon olive oil
3/4 pound chorizo, diced
1/2 yellow onion, finely chopped
3/4 cup barley
1 2/3 cups chicken broth, more as needed
Pinch kosher salt
3/4 cup shelled, chopped and toasted hazelnuts
4 tart, crisp apples, like Granny Smiths.
1. In a medium pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add chorizo and onion and cook, stirring, until onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Add barley and stir to coat with oil. Cook, stirring, until barley smells nutty, about 2 minutes. Stir in broth and salt. Bring to a boil; reduce to a simmer and cook until barley is tender and most of the liquid has evaporated, 40 to 50 minutes. Stir in hazelnuts.

And remember, "all movies are about love." And so is life, my friends, so is life.

With love,

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
from the 4th floor
NEW YORK CITY

FAT POLITICS AND SEXUALITY IN THE FACE OF HATE

2010-05-19T19:08:00.000-07:00

FAT POLITICS AND SEXUALITY IN THE FACE OF HATE
A Forum on Rights You Didn’t Know You Needed

McNally Jackson Books
52 Prince St.
(b/t Lafayette & Mulberry)
New York, NY

And McNally Jackson will have 2010 Adipositivity calendars on sale at a deep discount. Snag one if you haven't yet.

See ya there!

Featured Event
Thursday, May 20th 7pm

Fat Politics and Sexuality in the Face of Hate: A Forum on Rights You Didn't Know You Needed

With Substantia Jones, Lesley Kinzel, Kathleen LeBesco, Zoe Meleo-Erwin and Marilyn Wann

Fat stigma is reaching a boiling point in American society. As Harriet Brown stated in her recent New York Times article: “Public attitudes about fat have never been more judgmental; stigmatizing fat people has become not just acceptable but, in some circles, de rigueur.” This evening's panel is a chance to discuss this cultural climate and present recent work by five individuals from diverse segments of fat activism, from academia to the blogosphere. Above all, this forum seeks to provide a nuanced perspective of fat-related issues that departs from the media’s monotone coverage of “the obesity epidemic” and its perceived social pitfalls.

Fruit Salad, Fat Rage, and Internet Hooliganism

2010-05-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

Can being a victim of someone else’s internet hooliganism lead to an act of fat rage?

If you unknowingly touch someone else’s fruit, can it lead to an act of fat rage?

Somehow I had my very own plus-size version of Sex and the City [2] (coming to a theatre near you!) moment recently. So to speak. Because, as I was sitting in my studio apartment (having given up cigarettes long ago) without a Cosmopolitan (I am ‘cosmo’ enough—I don’t need to drink one, plus I prefer vodka and a good smokey single malt—Laphroaig, anyone? Thank you Jazz Dentist!)[I think I should work for or with Seth MacFarlane, because we both surely suffer from incredible ADD and are originally from Connecticut. That’s reason enough, right?]

Tangent dedicated to Seth MacFarlane
Possibly, but I only thought of that now as I am sitting here to type this at Café Pick Me Up in the East Village in NYC. I have certainly had my fair share of picking up and getting picked up in this café and street corner. No, not for money—no kinky details there unless practically living like a nun [yep, you heard me, a nun!] turns you on. I’ve met many a Russian on this corner.

When I first moved to Manhattan, a Russian friend of mine put a personal ad in a Russian newspaper about me [without telling me] ---and when my phone kept ringing when I was out with work colleagues. I kept answering the phone in Russian—they thought I was either dating a mobster or selling something serious. Neither was true(at that time).

Anyway, I am recently not only the victim of FaceBookhooliganism (my term, I coined it!), and a mild case of cyber-passive-aggressiveness, cyber stalkingism, or perhaps 5thgradeism, or “just-a-little-creepy-for-me-ism” as well as a victim of unknowingly mixing with someone else’s fruit—or the English language version: being lied to by a guy on the internet. And by “lied to” I mean the dude has a girlfriend but was throwing the mack my way—including several mentions of a visit.

I feel safe enough to talk about it here on my own blog in my own words. And, I am sure that other fat girls have gone through the same thing. Indeed, I know others who have. So, I think it is one of the many things we deal with in our culture—fat/size acceptance community and the cultural society of the digital age. And, it is also fair to note that the, I will say BBW world, tends to be a bit incestuous. That’s right, I said it.

This recent event really pissed me off. Not cause I ‘super-liked’ the guy. It was too soon to be in ‘super-like’, but yeah, liked him as there was common ground—except for the lying part: I dug the accent, and am fond of certain facial accompaniments, I like freckles. He seemed nice, claimed to be shameless, and smart. And I am sure I wasn’t the only one pissed off. [I can imagine how gf felt.] First, I don’t like being a victim, who does? And I don’t wanna play that role—in fact, I refuse to. Honesty is important—and apparently very lacking in today’s culture—as well as apologies. Is anyone decent anymore?!!! I mean just look at the news, is anyone faithful anymore?! From politicians to sport figures, to celebrities, to the guy down the block, or your very own internet ‘friend.’ And if it happens to ‘perfect looking women’ {someone’s view of Mrs. Elin Woods}, can you imagine what is happening all across the globe to fat girls? I mean we all have seen enough Craigslist’s Rant and Raves and hateful posts on the subject.

And hey, I don’t want to totally dis the internet and its ability to hook people up whose paths might not have crossed otherwise. And there is at least one particular person who I can think of who met her husband this way. She is a fat girl, and he is from another country. And I get the impression that he is really a good dude. And good dudes conduct themselves that way, ladies. Now, that also means that there are plenty of girls out there that over-compensate, shrug off, and fill in the gaps for those kind of dudes. Please don’t do that. Know your own worth.

Only, sometimes ‘other dudes’ SEEM to conduct themselves that way, and I think there are others who just get caught up in the possibility of not getting caught or a fantasy of “supposing.” That reminds me of a quote by Mark Twain: “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” Suppose you were really pretending to be a good guy. And suppose you were [insert member of ethnic group who lives in Europe-ish.] But I repeat myself. See below for further explanation.

Because I know it has happened before—to me, to others, to you, and it is probably (?) not the last time. That got me thinking, though. Upon careful reflection, and a little fact checking, I thought I could use my mis-adventure to help others, set facts straight, and clear my head about what seems to be an era of cyber-lying. And, pissed off usually works wonders for me. I wrote a short film after being pissed off by someone on Craigslist in 2004. Partly, FAT GIRLS FLOAT is fueled with equal parts of love and anger.

I have been a New Yorker since I was 8 (in my head), and am real, straight up, direct and honest. I also believe in doing what I see is best as far as I see the big picture. Friends know when they ask me they will get an often tactful, but honest answer. So, be careful what you ask me. Without Jack Nicholson’s delivery, I realize that sometimes people don’t ask questions, because they don’t want to know the truth, can’t handle the truth, or don’t want to handle the truth. I am also who I am—online AND off. I also want to be sensitive to those involved, should they read this. But, I also want to clearly state—we are not friends, and cannot be friends, nor can we have any interaction. And let me further state that no apologies are warranted from me, as I did nothing wrong. I deserve an apology from said parties, but I will settle for them leaving me alone. I deem such interaction or attempts at such interaction inappropriate.

I think such action is both a simple and seemingly masochistic attempt at a fishing expedition. Honey, you don’t wanna see what’s in my net. Any action taken by any party, therefore, will be considered hostile to the parameter I am clearly setting. As such, you will be treated by me with qualities I hold valuable and conduct myself with everyday: honesty, love, and compassion. And that might mean silence on my part. Anything else or answering questions directly, would result in a direct hurtfulness, of which I refuse to participate; which I do not deem my business. Any attack on my character is my damn business, though; please note.

However, I did state that this post is to aid others and contemplate actions and thoughts that are part of this community, and the public domain of societal and internet culture in general. I also think I am using this as a way to understand how and why men who claim to like fat girls participate in negative behavior on the internet.

I am not here to ‘out’ anyone, but I want to get down to what happened, and what I fear can happen to someone else. One may think that this could be intended as direct hurtfulness, it isn’t. It is an example of something that plagues women in general, and particularly fat women who use the internet as a means to finding a mate. I also think that often times, fat women feel like we are in an emotional-or sexual-drought because of size. And if we don’t feel that way at the moment or at this particular stage in our lives, I think we have all felt that way one time or another. And we cannot say that being fat and finding a real dude isn’t hard, because it is. In this day in age, it is hard for anyone, no matter their size, in my humble opinion. Additionally, this post may be somewhat ‘scholarly’ as it is talking about a term specific related to fat folk.

Upon such reflection, somehow, my very own Carrie Bradshaw question popped into my head.

“Can unknowingly touching someone else’s fruit lead to an act of fat rage?” As I think the converse may equally be possible and/or true: “Can an act of fat rage occur from someone touching your fruit?” Damn, it sounds way kinkier than it is. If ‘fat rage’ isn’t a term yet, you heard it here first, kids. Well, when in doubt, I did what any sensible sexy single NYer would do: I googled.

As it turns out, fat rage has a few meanings, with a short listing of hits from Google.

As we see the results below:

“fat rage” [with quotes]

1. America's Fat Hatred - Newsweek.com
Anti-fat rhetoric is getting nastier than ever. Why our overweight nation hates overweight people.
www.newsweek.com/id/213646 - Cached - Similar

2. Editorial
I call this phenomenon "fat rage" because it's sort of similar to the tragic ... If so, then fat rage serves a purpose and we may grudgingly have to accept ...
www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/chb/chb76.html - Cached

3. Maine Musicians Exchange - Directory - Management and Booking ...
Fat Rage Productions is a Promotional / Management company based in Lewiston, Maine. ... Fat Rage Productions is proud to be working with Losing Tomorrow, ...
www.mainemusiciansexchange.org/mme/index.php?... - Cached

4. FAT: Rage » Cozette
May 9, 2010 ... FAT: Rage. Posted by Sarah under Dance, FAT, In the Media, Music, Special Events | Permalink | | Leave A Comment | No Comments ...
cozettedesigns.com/?p=1842 - 1 hour ago

and

fat rage [without quotes]

Google
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Search Results

1. America's Fat Hatred - Newsweek.com
Anti-fat rhetoric is getting nastier than ever. Why our overweight nation hates overweight people.
www.newsweek.com/id/213646 - Cached - Similar

2. America's Fat Hatred - Newsweek.com
Feb 19, 2010 ... And with fat people designated as acceptable targets of rage—and with the prevalence of fat people in our lives, both in the malls and on ...
www.newsweek.com/id/213646/page/2 - Cached - Similar

3. Editorial
I call this phenomenon "fat rage" because it's sort of similar to the tragic ... If so, then fat rage serves a purpose and we may grudgingly have to accept ...
www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/chb/chb76.html - Cached

4. Acorn Rage Feeder Fat
Acorn Rage Feeder Fat™ is a highly concentrated FATTY Acorn Pellet that is designed to mix with Corn in your feeder to bring in deer by the bundles and ...
www.wildgameinnovations.com/products/feeder-fat.html - Cached - Similar

Where else could you get insider information on bringing deer ‘by the bundles’?

The only link that talks about and kind of defines it, but not exactly with the same meaning I am offering, is Conrad H. Blickenstorfer, Ph. D., editor of Dimensions Magazine, and former NAAFA board member.
Dr. Blickenstorfer states:

In this issue we're throwing political correctness to the wind and tackle an issue that's long been baffling me: Why is it that infighting and backstabbing are so prevalent in movements formed to help oppressed people? Sometimes it's so bad that little actual work gets done because everyone is too busy fighting and holding grudges. With an important task at hand-ending discrimination against fat people-and with a formidable enemy out there-the diet industry-it seems downright weird that infighting and splintering into ever smaller feuding groups absorbs most of our energy.

So here's a theory that might explain some this peculiar dynamic: Are we perhaps mistaken about the primary purpose of our movement? Could it be that one, or the, primary benefit of size acceptance organizations is to serve as training grounds for people who never had a chance to let out their wrath and anger in a fat phobic world? Who hasn't encountered people who act especially, unnecessarily, insensitive and obnoxious, as if trying to live up to the worst stereotypes? Who hasn't shaken his or her head in dismay over the seeming inability of people to get over minor disagreements, instead choosing to go nuclear over them?

I call this phenomenon "fat rage" because it's sort of similar to the tragic escalation of "road rage" where people caught in a common predicament start lashing out at each other instead of working together.

Do size acceptance organizations indeed serve as lightening rods for fat rage, as a place where oppressed people can relatively safely dispose of the rage and frustration of a lifetime of discrimination on the way to assuming their rightful place in society? If so, then fat rage serves a purpose and we may grudgingly have to accept its dissipation as part of our mission. It would also explain why for many people size acceptance organizations are only stepping stones that are no longer needed once the rage is gone. And why movements of potentially millions never manage to attract more than a few thousand members. Food for thought, for sure. Read Sally Smith's article on "fat rage" on page 18.

PS. I went to find Sally Smith’s article, and the link would not connect me.

I definitely agree with Conrad, and this is something that I also mentioned in my Popular Culture Conference speech in St. Louis in April of this year. There is irony there, trust me when I tell you.

So, if I am correctly understanding Conrad, his meaning and definition of ‘fat rage’ is a fat person who lets out his or her ‘wrath or anger’ against the fat-phobic world; in which it may inadvertently let that anger reach a fellow fatty and/or member of the size acceptance community. If you read it differently, please comment. Conrad also likens it to ‘road rage’, where people lash out at each other during a shared experience and/or predicament.

I agree with Conrad, but would like to extend the definition. He does clearly believe that FAT RAGE is a ‘letting go of pelt up anger due to one’s fatness/size’ and/or one’s self perceived fatness/size due to fat oppression and or anger.

I define FAT RAGE as:

FAT RAGE- (noun or verb) (1) a violent fit of anger or fury unleashed however on whomever either by a fat person against society and/or another person, place, or thing due to actual or perceived fat discrimination or fat oppression and (2) a violent fit of anger or fury against a fat person because he or she is visibly fat and/or is perceived or deemed to be fat by an attacker(s).

I am trying to encompass the fact that fat rage can be experienced by someone fat as well as against someone fat.

When I think of fat rage that pertains to ‘against someone fat’ I think of the fat rage that was forced upon Marsha Coupe in London who was beat up on a train for being fat. To me that was an act of fat rage, because the person doing the hitting was enraged at Marsha’s size.

I always felt it was a matter of time before a fat child or fat adult unleashes a fit of rage (fat rage) against someone who was teasing, bullying, discriminating against or just plain mean to him or her—as in a ‘last straw on the camel’s back’ kinda thing. In my film head, I see it as someone who is teased for the last time and opens fire on the bully. [God forbid!] It has probably happened and perhaps not made the news. If anyone knows of a case, please get in touch. As the case of Marsha Coupe was reported, I am sure there are many that are not, sadly.

Ok, now that I have given my definition of what fat rage is, let me next define someone else’s fruit.

You see, I think that we are all fruit, when it comes to love or the looking for love/dating world. Now, we all might not be bananas, but we are all fruit. Maybe the thought entered my mind from having seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, back in the day. As the father of the bride states [paraphrasing] that despite the differences of his daughter marrying a non-Greek: One is an orange, one is an apple—no worries because we are all fruit.

Yes, we are all fruit.
And as such: delicate. And delectable, in my fair opinion.

Back to fruit. Like I said, I think in love, finding the right person is like trying to find good fruit. With time, we all ripen like a piece of fruit, and go on sale at the market. Some, you will find, is not yet ripe and best left on the shelf.

Love, like ripe fruit, is only as sweet as long as you hold it in your hand. Dearly and clearly. And there are times when you reach for what you think is delectable, and after taking a bite, realize it just doesn't give you that satisfactory taste for which you were hoping. Then there are others, which might even be a bit bruised; yet shiningly, despite all pretenses, surprise you. And still, there are those that look seemingly perfect, and yet, are completely devoid of flavor—and/or taste. Lastly, others which as soon as you get them in your mouth--you know you need to spit them out. The peaches of my tree might seem heavenly; but it is the tree, despite its mighty roots, that is nowhere near your supermarket. However, all I can attest for certain is that—I'm fruit. And sweet in the sincerest of meanings.

I like to think of me as bright, higher learned, addicted to cause?, and trying to change part of the world in one particular vein, enjoying the classics and poetry, creative, sincere, artistic, and definitely living with hope for what tomorrow might bring; and learning from what today brought. And trying to savor what's in between.

I am emotionally strong and independent (probably to my own determent), tactile, honest, loyal in every sense of the word (personally speaking), warm, and try to remind myself that humility is best reached through practice.

So how does fat rage and fruit go in the same shopping cart?

So where o where is all this leading? It seems I was engaged in an unsolicited suitor’s web of lies. “I am sure he didn’t mean to.” How is that new or news worthy? Seemed like a nice guy. How was I to know he had a girlfriend? Funny, he never mentioned her. When it became apparent to me, I immediately, and dude—I mean immediately! said my peace, revealed what I knew—and filed off an email outing said person that the jig was up. I want to keep their anonymity as well as my distance.

I think that when a fat girl is pushed to limits of being or feeling ‘disposable’, played with, lied to and the like—she may blame it on her size or the internet community to which many of us belong. I wonder if one fatty is pushed too far, or for “the last time,” can an act of fat rage then erupt? And if so, would it just be considered a simple act of rage or passionate rage, or would it be considered ‘fat rage’ since it ultimately may have to do with one’s size or fatness?

What is this a Seinfeld episode? Is there a cosmic voice:
“Your FAT—NO FRUIT FOR YOU!”

So can someone come out in a ‘fat rage’ at being lied to—a fit of rage based on their size, or oppression from honesty because of their size? What about women, about whom I have read, who find out that their man views BBW porn on the internet. And she is no BBW. Will she then turn to rage against a fat woman for her own frustration at her man’s possible porn-viewing preference? Or what if she is a BBW and he is looking at even larger women?

I have no rage against anyone. Not even the machine. But I do have rage against being ill treated due to size discrimination. [I cannot exactly say that was the case here. This was a case of dude done fat girl wrong by having girlfriend and lying about not having one.]

I RARELY and I mean RARELY engage in unsolicited interaction, and I don’t solicit anyone. [ I didn't in this case either!] I might send a wink or a smile, but again, super rarely. In this case, I was solicited. No one is in ‘this’ community has really ever seen me with ‘a man’ because I am very private, and if I do date—I do not date within the community. Just not my thing for which I need not apologize. There are women who can attest to the fact that I would usually walk away from a man who approached the group of women I was with while at the Vegas BBW Bash. I don’t know why, a self-less act sure, but I was always working, and don’t mix the two. And in all fairness, I don’t really have time to be or spend with anyone in any great capacity. It would be limited to a few hours a week (which would mean me losing more sleep to make up the work slack/difference), or every other week. Seeing as I only get around 5 hours a night, dude! He has to be some dude! Time check 1:25 AM.

My friend Joey at Goddesses laughs when he has said on many an occasion “Kira’s never interested in anybody.” Not entirely true, not entirely false. What I am looking for is quite specific, and from my single adult life experience seems to be increasingly difficult to find: a man with character, a spine, and “a pair.” Throw in freckles, and dude, I’m yours! Queue Jason Mraz.

But the fact of the matter is, is that I do have about 3 personals up. “Ya never know,” is my feeling. One on a size-specific singles website. Now, through that site, which I had once mentioned in a Time Out New York article, I met one person face-to-face about 6 years ago. Seemed nice, nice dinner in my hood, was widowed. OK, I made the mistake about asking about the wife to find that she was ‘accidently pushed’ off a cliff. Literally. I understand that accidents happen, it just made me uneasy and I am not perfect, that I admit. There was no real ‘love connection’, on my part, anyway. Just being honest.

Next, in 2007, through that particular site, there was a long distance interaction that was hot, and seemingly solid, with daily contact for 7 months straight, with a certain man from a certain European country. He turned out to have a link to Margaret Thatcher [I’d explain, but only if you ask.], and a girlfriend of 4 years at the time—with whom he is still, but does not live with as is my current understanding. It was this particular connection that has given me a distinct reason to begin to dislike—and be extremely wary of—a particular ethnic group who reside in aforementioned European country. That does not mean other men in other European countries and America don’t lie to women on the internet. But, let’s just say, in my experience, this one group in particular is 4-0. Those aren’t good odds. I am trying hard NOT to be prejudiced. In fact, I am not, but let’s just say that they have tainted my opinion, nor have they made a good case for themselves. And 2 of which were not ‘internet related.’ And, frankly, I will most likely end up marrying one, because that is good cosmic irony.

What really trips my ass out is that…how does someone knowingly hurt someone else intentionally? What is the motivation behind that non-sense? I say intentionally because, if you have a girlfriend and you are flirting/carrying on, texting, emailing, calling another woman—yo! YO! That is intentionally hurting someone. First, your girl friend, and secondly the chick with whom you are carrying on in a digital manner. Now, I know I am cute, nice, smart, and sexy, (modest, yet humble?) but DUDE! I am so not into hurting others.

I am glad my thoughts—and blog post are not an act of fat rage, but may very well be an act of protest against such behavior and having been a victim of someone else’s lies, and defiantly an act of fat disgruntlement.

O, there is plenty of fruit in the garden of life. You just have to search to find the good apple in the bunch. Man fell from God’s grace at the hand of a woman, nonetheless, but not over fruit—over knowledge.

[In actuality, there are no apples grow in present-day Israel!]

FYI—
“Genesis most definitely records that she did eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So why do people think of an apple? One reason is that the Latin word for evil is malum and the Latin word for apple is also malum.

In the fourth century AD, the word malum appeared in the Latin Vulgate translation of Genesis in the phrase ‘the tree of knowledge of good and evil’. From that time on people began to associate the apple with the fruit which Eve ate.
But Eve did not eat the fruit of the apple tree—she ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.”

So, my advice? Move from passion to compassion, shop elsewhere, find a new market, and switch to whole grains?! Make lemonade if you get a lemon?! Don’t commit an act of fat rage if it can be helped—help yourself instead.

You will certainly find your way, your very own fruit basket—filled with all you need for yourself and for a healthy relationship. And, ya know… you can make your very own fruit salad, too. Or smoothie, or fruit kebabs. I would like to hope that the possibilities are only as limited as your very own imagination. Funny, cause coffee and fruit pretty much make up most of my diet.

May your smile continue, if only, as a piece of life's fruit salad.

The dude next to me just ordered fruit salad. He looked at me when I laughed out loud. You can’t make a line like that up!

Don’t worry about me. I have lived through a lot of rejection, much worse—[this was not even a blip!] a little bit of love, and serious obstacles—of which I have jumped. Didn’t say I always landed on my feet. BUT, I do believe there is someone out there for everyone.

And it doesn’t take an act of fat rage to find him.{Or her, for whomever that applies.}

It kind of makes me wonder, though, if I will be eyeing my produce guy in Key Food next time I go shopping.

Under clearing skies, [Click it!]

KIRA NERUSSKAYA

New York City

Hold the sex. Just the City, please: raw, straight up.
No chaser.

BBW PUNK ROCK!

2010-05-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

O…. sigh. Nostalgia. Again. I didn’t wear crazy black eyeliner, I had no safety pin anywhere on my clothes, there was no X on my hand, and I didn’t purposefully rip my black stockings. Those were the days, though!

Recently, I accepted an invite from from 21 year punk rock band and veteran Iconicide’s front man, Chris. You can check out his band here. or thier myspace page.

Chris was hosting a great gig at Otto’s Shrunken Head right here in my hood in NYC.

It was so nice to go and hear some very LIVE music. It brought be back to my youth, as I am definitely part punk-rocker! I spent many a night rockin’ it—in the mosh pit or on the other side of a pen interviewing some of old punk rock’s more unusual acts. I have stories!

There is something to be said about being in a room with a lot of live and positive energy—with or without earplugs!

But Chris is no stranger to Fat Girls Float, in fact he was a kind and articulate subject who answered and email and after a warm conversation and a bit of faith trekked to the East Village to let me interview him, but more on that titillating tidbit in the very near future.

Chris invited me specifically for one reason—to check out Animal Train’s BBW front woman!

C.J. Jacoby is the lead singer and front woman for Phille-based band Animal Train. Take a listen to them on MySpace.

They rocked the house. You can really understand CJ’s lyrics and hear her! Which, if memory serves, is not always a possibility with some punk bands.

I did a brief interview with CJ for this piece. She was an absolute doll. And was truly warm, gracious, open, and offered me a drink more than once. We should have done a shot, next time, girl! It’s on me!

I asked her about fronting a punk-rock band in 2010, and how she is received by the audience. I have seen all sorts of stuff thrown at people during my many years in and out of clubs like CBGBs, so……. I wondered. Her advice to other women was to accept humor (if it’s funny) about size, and don’t take it all so personally.
On getting heckeled, she responded, “If you get heckled, just “rock it! Why harbor it?” And rock it she did! Goes to show you----fat girls can rock, and rock the positiveness of not letting their weight weigh them down! Go CJ!

And the good news is that they are coming back! So, if you would like to join me at their next NYC appearance, please show your mug at Otto’s on MAY 30th at 7:30 pm.
I really thought they were great and truly felt inspired. Always saw myself play a gig at CBs (CBGBs); but… they closed and I went off on another non-punk rock path. But, someday you never know I might wear my very own (size 24) shimmery silver Renyold’s wrap-esque Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth inspired short shorts on stage in an all girl all BBW/FatGirl punk band!

Sigh. Does that mean I need to return to dating long haired musicians? I wonder what the guys from Das Damen are looking like these days? (FYI--They broke up in 1991, married, short hair.—Oh, well.) Hmmmm… thinking, thinking…..I love me some old Dinosaur Jr…… and J Mascis is still rockin’ the long hair.

If I did not have a full-time job, I would certainly add to my list of projects. Then again, I always thought that there should be an all BBW/FatGirl punk band and an all BBW/FatGirl version of the Spice Girls. No, Moulin Huge does not count.

Hmm…… if I did I would have to come up with a name for a band. I used to have them all written down on the other side of my history notebook. But, I don’t think I have that list any more. Let’s see can I think of any?

Well, let’s just say I can’t think of anything kind at the moment.
But, I am all ears if you can think of one!

Because when punk rock is in your blood, it is there forever!

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NEW YORK CITY, you probably wish you were here!

Deep water and High Waves

2010-04-30T22:32:00.000-07:00

I am greatful that I am the person I am.

That I take the high road.

That I am truly kind, or at least try to be.

That I do, live, work, and everything else with class--no matter the size of my ass.

That even when I am faced with harship, no matter now hard, I choose to persevere.

ALL I know, for sure, is that no matter how deep the water, or how high the waves, FAT GIRLS FLOAT!

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
ALL THE BEST DAMN ISLAND IN THE WORLD

NYC, FAT, and Subway Douchery

2010-04-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

Move over, Charlie. Fattie on the MTA. O, just click it!

While I am totally in strong like with friend, FGF supporter, and fellow blogger Ivan Greene from FAT in NYC, sometimes there is a bit of fat in NYC that needs to be trimmed. Ah, but what kind?

I was surprised. [Um, was I really? Queue voice of friend and fellow Big Moves New York-er The Obstreperous Ms. Janie Martinez, “Kira, why are you surprised?”]
I was surprised to read in amNewYork—you know, my main source of news—about bloggers who go after unsuspecting New York City subway riders who eat and/or hog seats on the subway. The bloggers charmingly refer to those who do such things as ‘slobhangers’ or ‘hoggers’ and often, “pigs.” No separate category for fatties. Yet. But, they actually talk about us…at seathogs.com. Nicely.

Between service cuts, a possible fare increase, and the building stench and uncleanliness; the increase in vermin; NYC is a tad bit frustrated with the MTA. But, damn, remember the 80s, with our crazy-ier homeless, graffiti train cars, a few old real straps left hanging on, and the muggings. Sigh. The good old days…..?

So, heck yeah, I wanted to check out the sites and see how they treated fatties. And to make sure I wasn’t in any pics. But I must be honest about my MTA subway ridin’ style and ‘my rules’ that I created, like, when I moved here. I have dag-nabbit darn good, indeed, I would say FIERCE MTA ridin’ habits. In fact, I am throwing a party with my friend ‘Al from the bus’ at the end of the year for my fellow M8ers. But I am not without my pet peeves.

First, the.PET PEEVES. In PEEVE-ability order.
Pet Peeve # 1: If you are able-bodied, move your ass out of the ‘eldery and disabled’ seats! I really do wanna scream at people some time—leave those seats empty. They are convenient FOR THOSE WHO NEED THEM! NOT FOR YOUR TIRED ASS. My FAT ass won’t sit there. I have witnesses!

Pet Peeve # 2: People with an extremely high volume on their Ipod headphones. I hate you people, if I wanted to listen to your music I would ask! I don’t expect anyone listening to mine, so I don’t want to listen to yours.

Pet Peeve # 3 Clip your nails elsewhere, like, um, your bathroom! Like, what is your problem, people? Didn’t your Mama teach you any better? Seriously? Seriously?!

Pet Peeve # 4 There NO REASON NOT to clean up after yourself. Littering is illegal. And you should be tarred and feathered! Bring it!

Pet Peeve # 5 Please, please, please let us off the train. Step to the side.

Here is my very own short list of rules to which I abide:
Rule 1: No Reason for Unnecessary Hogging
(Nope not referring to the *OTHER* Fattie Kind. But, if you never read about it, try this. I could not find the Details Magazine article about it. [Um, Janie?]

I am not a seat hogger…….unless there is a pretty empty train (which includes that the wagon/train car has a plethora of seating for a low volume of fellow riders.
AND the max I hog-quite sincerely- is to put my purse down on the seat next to me. And I only take up one seat. As far as I know.

And when I mean my purse, I mean I decided to buy a Jimmy Choo bag, one which grants me morning harassment by this unknown nanny at 125th Street with whom I sometimes share a walk up the stairs. Not because my bag is on the seat—it isn’t at that time of the morning; it’s because she wants it. I told her that I am sure she and Jimmy can make a deal. Canal Street is, after all, on the A train. O, not THAT Jimmy Choo, exactly.

Now there are definitely people who hog seats, with multiple bags, oder (yes, I said it) and the like. And what do I do with those fellow NYers? I tolerate them. I might stare them down if they are particularly rude. And I also stand up when I need to—both literally and figuratively.Part of the fact is that I also take the train at odd times. 6am and 7pm. Not exactly rush hour, not exactly empty.

Rule 2: Be kind (ie.There I go again with that Love Your Neighbor, crap.) Be kind always. Even when it hurts. Like, don’t gauge the eye out of the kid who is screaming “I like blue waffles” on the A train. Don’t stick a shiv into the people who think that I need to listen to THEIR music. Trust me, whatever they are listening to is NEVER on my ipod.

There was a time I sat in pee. There was an empty seat, I was exhausted—especially because it isn’t like I get much sleep 4-5 hours a night usually. And my follower straphangers let me down. I didn’t see it, so I sat. Of course, after I sat, a construction worker dude was like, “O, yeah, that’s wet.” [Thank you MFer Kira said to herself.) And thank you smelly urine dude. I literally had to take off my pants and wash them at work, and then put them back on and ‘carry on Christian soldier.” Thank you black polyester, I love you. But the smell was SO bad, it left me with the impression that it came from an alcoholic. Despite what anyone might think, I said a prayer for that dude. And for anyone else who sat in what he left behind.
Let us not forget that people are freakin’ tired and travel a great distance, much of the time here in NYC. My commute is an hour each way, sometimes and often longer than that. Many are hard working people, immigrant families, or those who know they can make more money with a job in the city, so do the traveling. And the MTA is their only mode of transportation. Must I remind you of our dear friend Emma Lazarus’ words?

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

OK, Emma, I am all about bringing my fellow brother and sister over here. But, they can be neat, right? Must they eat Chinese food/curried goat/McDonald’s, etc. next to me on the subway? I don’t eat on the subway. To me: it is dirty, wrong, inconsiderate, in poor taste, and not good for your health. I don’t think it is good to ‘eat on the run’. And if you need to, I think it better not to do it on the subway. Reason? Filth and vermin. And if YOU NEED to eat on the subway, by all means clean up after yourself! My thoughts and opinions are shared by many a New Yorker.

Yet, these same people do not keep NY clean and that annoys me to no end. Why the F not?! I’ve a riddin’ on many a train, bus, plane, and subway… and don’t understand how Europe can enjoy a cleaner subway system than my own—despite the sheer volume that rides the NYC MTA daily.

These websites/blogs explicitly state that they are ridiculing poor behavior. Part of that I understand, and might even agree with. However, it all depends on HOW you do it. They chose this way. Reminds me of “People of Wal-Mart.” Now, I agree there some people who go out of their homes in outfits that would cause a stylist to have a brain hemorrhage; or perhaps would be best if worn in doors—behind closed doors, but….. they have their right to wear it. This is America! Queue Lee Greenwood.

But some places have amazing dang subways, like Russia for example. And no, there is no soldier with a gun hovering over your kielbasa sandwich if you eat it on the train. In fact, “back in the good old days” no one would be caught dead eating on the subway in the old Soviet Union—it wasn’t, quite simply ever done. It was considered in bad taste--against the standard, bad for the bourgeois and terrible for the proletariat. Most people sat down, crammed in like sardines when need be, and helped babushkas (grandmothers/old women) when asked, and read. Yes. Read. It was silent because people read all the time. You had to be quiet and kind. And if you broke those rules your ass would get handed to you. Even if you were drunk, you knew you should be quiet and read. Unless, of course, you broke out into song. If so, you better have a good voice.

A tangent with no lines. [If anyone actually gets this, I will be in shock.]
For those of you that don’t know, and if my last name isn’t obviously Russian to you, you should know that I spent a considerable amount of time living and working in the Soviet Union and Russian Federation. When most people say “Russia” many iconic images come to mind for the non-Slavophil: The Bolshoi Ballet, Red Square (which is not really red—and I can prove it!), VODKA, fur hats, the long lines of the Brezhnev era, and these days—millionaires, oops; I mean billionaires. And we can make a special note of one favorable fat art admiring billionaire when we recall Roman Abramovich’s $33.6million dollar purchase of Lucien Freud’s 1995 painting of Benefits Supervisor Sleeping in May of 2008. That “fat art” thought made me also recall Freud’s After Cezanne [1999-2000], which also features people as he liked to paint them "not because of what they are like, not exactly in spite of what they are like, but how they happen to be." This painting features two women, one of which is plus-sized, in my opinion. Hey, he might not be a fatty lover, but he is open to different shapes, clearly. But, I digress. Or am I just ‘thawing’ out my ideas?! Ah yes, retro Cold War humor! Nostalgia, folks, na-stal-ghee-ya. Yeah. Sigh.

Onward, Russian soldier. One of the many delights (yup, you heard me right) of traveling in the former Soviet Union/Russian Federation is the splendid subway system both in Leningrad [that’s what we called ‘Peter’ when I first arrived] and Moskva (Moscow).

But, it seems, that other places are cleaner. Did we just give up? Are we THAT tired that we can’t clean up after ourselves?!

Now look at the ridership of many of the subway systems I have ridden. NYC totally kick’s your city’s ass in ridership!

San Francisco BART daily ridership 346,504 (Jan-Mar, 2009), wiki
Washington D.C. Metro daily ridership 801, 400
Paris Metropolitan daily ridership 4,500,000
Boston MTA 1.3 million weekday/all modes
London Underground daily ridership 3.4 million weekdays
Saint Petersburg Metro daily ridership 3.43 million
Moscow Metro daily ridership 6.6 million average
NYC MTA daily ridership 11,574,566 weekday/all modes

OK, so NYers tired of what they see below ground, take it to the internet to bitch-slap those who help to create the mess.

But, the question remains, how do they handle the fat issue?

Site # 1: www.seathogs.com
Since October 2009, www.seathogs.com, has been keeping track of those who have been “hogging” seats.

They state:
This site is dedicated to outing all NYers or NY subway visitors to hog a
seat in some way, form, or manner. The reason, says seathogs.com is due to
selfishness.

I don’t think that is always the case, as I think the average NYer,is probably too stressed or tired to pay attention to what they are doing some times. Yet, this is NYC, you need to pay attention—all the time. Someone might steal your purse, you might get hit by a cab, you might encounter a pick pocket or Mayor Bloomberg might decide you aren’t rich enough to live in the 212. Oops, he already did that.
I have to give them some props on the fatty issue to seathogs.com.

They put us at number one in stating the following:

“Here Are Some Common Examples of NOT Seat Hogging:
1. Fat People Who Spill Over Into Adjacent Seats are generally not considered
Seat Hogs unless someone has paid money for the seat next to them.” {
OK, maybe not what everyone in the size-acceptance community wants to hear,
but………..we aren’t being considered seat hogs. It is, somehow, in some small
way, a step in the right direction? I see it as positive. And I thank them for
knowing, appreciating, and accepting that people, and fellow NYers come in all
shapes and sizes.

But they rate people by casting a vote in “pigs.” Dude. Ok, you are going with your theme, I get it.

Site # 2 www.trainpigs.com
This site is primarily dedicated to those who eat on the subway, leave behind items, and litter. When you live here and gotta look at it day in and day out—it’s gross.
From a commuter’s paper that taking up ‘extra’[?] space, to those who eat on trains and train platforms. I appreciate the sentiment in trying to generally, literally, point the finger [and a camera] at those fellow NYers or visitors who can and often are keeping the momentum of vermin writhing under our feet, quite literally on some days. Clean up after yourself, is that SO HARD? Seriously?!

However, frankly, I totally agree with the woman who flipped the bird. If Thou click, thou might get ass kicked. This is New York, yo! I wonder what my lawyer says. Hmm.. Scottie?

Site # 3 http://www.subwaydouchery.com/
I am not sure if this was a way to gain noteriety for his comedy, amuse himself, or perhaps, it seems that this Brooklynite hates subway douchery, as we all do, for the most part. Yet, Tom Sibley is talking and blogging about his hate for the douchbags underground.

Breast feeding, throwing up, peeing on the train. Yeah, that is subway douchery all right. Why o why do people do it? Because they can?

One interesting comment reflected on subwaydouchery.com, “I love NYC subways. Anything can happen.” True that.

One person’s subway douchbaggery is another person’s free entertainment.
“Crazy drunk trannys pole dancing,”
or guys rick rollin’ it (actual term! Damn, the sh*t you find on the internet!)
University of Oregon accapella group On the Rocks rickrolled us recently.[Dudes—shout out from a fellow UO duck! Dude the blond with the beatbox—you go, brother!]

That IS part of the fun! That is part of why I DON'T live in suburbia ( I could be persueded, though, maybe, perhaps.)I find it hilarious, anyway. Way more hilarious than sittin’ in urine, getting blasted with lively and loud Spanish music at 6:30am, or I do have to hand it to fellow NYers who kick ass in the ‘creative grafetti’ category. And if you ever want to see some serious grafitti, you should check out the documentary that premiered at Tribeca in 2007, Bomb It!

Despite grafetti being illegal, or “morally wrong in defacing others’ property;” there is some which I simply could not live without!

Although, thanks to this site, I was able to solve and age-old question for me and fellow Big Mover, Suzi Tasca. Visit this link, Suzi. I think I found the culprit. We kept hearing this guy, but could never see him. Explains a lot, right?!

Site # 4 www.poleleaningdouchbag.com [Northface jackets, optional.]
A site dedicated to those who lean on the pole and do not allow others to use it. Simple enough, with a good point. Make room, yo! And the one Biggest Loser post, was about a woman completely leaning against the pole, not her weight.

A simple agenda to socially humiliate the wrongdoers into doing the right thing. I abhor the fact that one site tells you how to snap a picture.

In every New York minute, people are always moving. The best description I ever really heard that captured it was in Russian, where a friend said , “New York kipeet,” which translates as “New York is boiling.” That being said, we are all on the go to go somewhere else, do something else or someone else—or their friend—(not me, but I do read) and as a result for many, that means eating on the run. Practically every block you can see someone sipping coffee as they walk, the coffee cup has become a fashion accessory for many. And from where you buy your coffee says something about you.

I mean I know our apartments are small and all that, but, really, it isn’t an extension of your home.

Even more recently www.metro.us came out with a brief article interviewing author Robert Rowland about his new book “Breakfast with Socrates: An Extraordinary (Philosophical) Journey Through Your Day, who states we should “Love They Neighbor.” Even on the subway. Part of which, he invites us to “Stop dreaming and start living.” Jimmy DELAVEGA, can you hear me?

NYC is a grind. It is a tough crowd in many ways. And we definitely have it harder in some very real ways. Try paying my rent! So….if we all have it hard—make room for everybody, because there is room for everybody.

And let me close with my recent fatty issue on the M8. As Al and I were sitting there having our morning chit-chat (quietly!), Ms. Must Sit in First Seat-less-than-charming-totally-graduated-from-high school many an era ago-thinks fatties must die-could seriously use Botox, like, um, all over—decided to mimic my size with her hands and mouth the words “too much, too much.” She had made other faces and or gestures over the past 2 years, but I could never prove out-rightly that she was 1) talking about me specifically [even though I knew she was], 2) was not as overt about it (even thought I knew what she was doing). So, on her last gallant failure, I decided to say something and what I said was: “Lady, your prejudice is way bigger than my body!” Smiling, and exit. It was kind fat activism in my opinion. I stood up for myself, and did not ‘sink’ to her level. Why? Because Fat Girls Float.

KIRA NERUSSKAYA, Near perfect NYC MTA etiquette and “Love Thy Neighbor’ enthusiast.

NEW YORK CITY, but wishing I was watching the sun set in Galway……

Alive and well, and ridin’ the M8, A Train, D Train, and M18 daily
with my Unlimited Metrocard.

PS. Please note that Charlie’s wife gave him a daily sandwich.
But, I doubt he was fat.

Too Fat to Fly? Kevin Smith and SouthWest Airlines

2010-02-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

Ah, yeah. Hello Kevin Smith. Welcome to the land of fat prejudice. Sorry, we really don't have a welcome basket full of goodies, just a big slice of reality.

Kevin Smith kinda has a special place in my heart, and here's why:

I remember standing outside the Billagio in Las Vegas with Corinna
Makris and her friend Steph during the Las Vegas BBW Bash in 2006. It was the
very first shoot for FAT GIRLS FLOAT.
And when we got to the taxi line. Corinna and Steph were talking, and I got
a little quite and introspective. I was thinking about 'what am I doing?', 'am I
sure I should be doing this?', and getting a little quiet. Basically, second
guessing myself. I remember thinking to myself, "I know I am probably part
crazy, and I am sure I will get some sort of sign that even though all this is
possible and necessary-these stories need to be told- it is nice to have a
little worldly, or perhaps divine confirmation." And then it happened. I was
looking around. And in the taxi line I saw KEVIN SMITH. He was in line with his
parents. Now it seemed pretty certain that he was in the taxi line, and no one
noticed him. It looked like some guy in the taxi line with his parents, not a
famous movie director. I looked right at him, and recognized him. We made eye contact for a second or two, I smiled, he looked away (but he had that look like, I have just been recognized on his face) and got in the taxi with his parents. "Good-bye Kevin Smith" I mumbled, "See ya around some time." That was my sign. HA! Well, that's how I took it anyway.

What can I say.. I love me some fat film directors. (sorry, Kevin, Dave Garret [Ten Stories tall] will always be number one for me)

Corinna, do you recall that?!

Well, Mr. Smith, I don't think you deserve special treatment because you are a celebrity, and I don't think you do either.

I agree, if you can sit in the seat, with both arm rests down, whether or not you need a seat belt extender, you are in. And ready to fly.

Flying should not be an unpleasant experience for anyone.

I fly. I buy one seat. I use my own extender. No one has complained. I also have not flown SouthWest because they have been pretty much anti-fatty for some time. Nothing new there.

I went to TMZ.com to read the comments about Mr. Smith's experience.

And I am always appalled by the general public's comments on such cases considering fat. I am not surprised, however. I guess because we are all working for a day when Post-Fat will be achieved---size neutrality.

Here are some of my faves:

Laney said "Fat folks are very selfish people in general."

How are we selfish? Can't figure out that comment.

I agree with one poster, Tony, who said:

"Now, I'm no rocket scientist, but, I figure, if a 250 pound dude is a "safety
risk", I'm not sure I feel very comfortable on Southwest airplanes! Are they
worried that too much weight up front might tilt the airplane? What is the plane
made out of, tinfoil?"

Amen, brother. I mean, it is not AEROFLOT, ya know. We actually DID have to disembark the rear passengers before the front passengers so as not to tilt the plane!

Some felt they don't think Mr. Smith was "too fat," but yet that the airline handles the issue poorly. If you are bad to one customer, chances are you are bad to others.Good customer service is good customer service, period.

One body builder recalled that his shoulders are too broad and he does not fit into one seat--but isn't fat. He chooses to buy two seats.

I am looking forward to 'hearing the whole story " on Mr. Smith's SMODCAST.

In the mean time, thank you, Mr. Smith for standing up for yourself, and not handling this quietly...size discrimination all too often gets swept under the rug.

On a lighter(?) note......

As Mr. Smith battles SouthWest, I continue to battle Windows Vista, who I think is size neutral, but a big pain in my ass.

Speaking of which....

Ah, yes. Today is February 14th. The day many equate with love. That being the case, all I can do is remember and remind: Love YOURself, Love YOUR body, Love your neighbor and love your neighbor's body (respect everyone).

And with that, I leave you with a pic of yours truly, a real fat ass that will never be found on a SouthWest flight.

Love.

Fatties of the world, U N I T E!

--Kira Nerusskaya
New York City

......just over the bridge from New Jersey, Mr. Smith. So, how about that interview?

Final PS: Corinna--for the record, I was 'reading' TMZ.com NOT watching...and NO KITTENS were killed in creating this post!

***for some reason links would not insert***

ERICA WATSON IS A FAT BITCH!

2010-02-10T19:06:00.000-08:00

ABC NIGHTLINE BIG FAT FACE OFF

2010-02-03T19:35:00.001-08:00

Is it Okay to be Fat? “Nightline” tackles this question and other delicate questions related to dieting and obesity and how it relates to heath in a “Face Off” to air Monday, February 22. This will be the program’s fifth “Face-Off,” a series launched two years ago that is a debate style format where hot topics get discussed among prominent voices in their field.

The “Face-Off” is scheduled to take place Friday, February 5th at The Cooper Union’s historic Great Hall in New York City. Crystal Renn, model and author of “Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves” and Marianne Kirby, co-author of “Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere” will face-off against MeMe Roth, president of National Action Against Obesity and Kim Bensen, author of “Finally Thin.” Renn and Kirby advocate against constant dieting and contend that you don’t have to be thin to be healthy while Roth and Bensen advocate against an obese America and believe in the importance of a responsible diet.

The “Face Off” will be moderated by co-anchor Cynthia McFadden and held at The Cooper Union’s Great Hall in New York City on Friday, February 5th at 4:00pmET. To obtain media credentials, please contact Alison Bridgman at 212-456-1578; alison.bridgman@abc.com. For more on the story visit: http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/fat-question-debated-nightline-face-off/story?id=9718202

What: “Nightline Face-Off – Is It Okay to be Fat?”

Who: Crystal Renn, model and author of “Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition, and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves” and Marianne Kirby, author of “Lessons from the “Fat-O-Sphere”

MeMe Roth, President, National Action Against Obesity and

Kim Bensen, author of “Finally Thin”

When: Friday, February 5, 2010

4:00pm-5:30pm ET

Where: The Cooper Union’s Great Hall

The Foundation Building

7 East 7th Street (btw 3rd and 4th Aves)

New York City

SIGN UP AND JOIN THE FUN!

ABC NIGHTLINE BIG FAT FACE OFF

2010-02-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

Is it Okay to be Fat? “Nightline” tackles this question and other delicate questions related to dieting and obesity and how it relates to heath in a “Face Off” to air Monday, February 22. This will be the program’s fifth “Face-Off,” a series launched two years ago that is a debate style format where hot topics get discussed among prominent voices in their field.

The “Face-Off” is scheduled to take place Friday, February 5th at The Cooper Union’s historic Great Hall in New York City. Crystal Renn, model and author of “Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves” and Marianne Kirby, co-author of “Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere” will face-off against MeMe Roth, president of National Action Against Obesity and Kim Bensen, author of “Finally Thin.” Renn and Kirby advocate against constant dieting and contend that you don’t have to be thin to be healthy while Roth and Bensen advocate against an obese America and believe in the importance of a responsible diet.

The “Face Off” will be moderated by co-anchor Cynthia McFadden and held at The Cooper Union’s Great Hall in New York City on Friday, February 5th at 4:00pmET.

What: “Nightline Face-Off – Is It Okay to be Fat?”

Who: Crystal Renn, model and author of “Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition, and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves” and Marianne Kirby, author of “Lessons from the “Fat-O-Sphere”

MeMe Roth, President, National Action Against Obesity and

Kim Bensen, author of “Finally Thin”

When: Friday, February 5, 2010

4:00pm-5:30pm ET

Where: The Cooper Union’s Great Hall

The Foundation Building

7 East 7th Street (btw 3rd and 4th Aves)

New York City

SIGN UP AND JOIN THE FUN!

Height/weight Discrimination Bill in Massachusetts

2010-01-28T19:40:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, due to an internet issue, which left me without internet for several days.... (Yes, I paid the bill!) I had a lot of email that seemed not to go anywhere... not exactly sure how that was/is possible. So, i do not think it made it to the committee on time, but I re-sent anyway. -KN

Dear Ms. Choi,

Since you are a member of a liberating and liberal state, where democracy’s roots generated a nation of rebels who fought for freedom; I urge you to continue the fight. The roots of freedom and democracy anchored the ideas that make the U.S. a world power. And as such, we hold the thoughts of splendor of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness near and dear to our hearts.

Height, weight, and size discrimination are a very real part of life for those who are short-statured, or differ in the weight/size of what society depicts as the ‘norm.’ People of all shapes and sizes hope to provide a service to the company or institution for whom they work, and expect, rightly so, to be paid a decent wage for it, and maintain the same sense of decorum and respect as their peers. But it doesn’t always seem to be that way for those who are deemed ‘different’ because of their height, weight, or size. However- they, we are credible and integral parts of the cog in the societal wheel AND labor force, particularly in Massachusetts.
As Massachusetts has the 15th largest population in our United States of America, I am sure that there are many people of all shapes and sizes, who have been, are, or will be discriminated against unless this bill is passed. As your state is often referred to as ‘the spirit of America’ please speak and stand up for those who hold the ideals of working in a safe and comfortable environment—a right that should be legislated and available for all U.S. citizens.

In March of 2008, I journeyed to your state from New York City to address those present at the hearing of the bill helping to put a face on those who are discriminated against. You would not want any family member to suffer the injustice of discrimination—in any form; and especially not in the work place. Such discrimination or ill feelings lead to tense work life that debilitates the comradely spirit of any work place.

Please do not be afraid to stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone. You can and must do so! Tax-paying people of Massachusetts deserve the right to work without being discriminated against—the right to provide for themselves and their families and loved ones.

I urge you to please help those who need you, need you to be strong, and help everyone in your state to have a voice, by allowing people of all sizes and shapes within the Massachusetts to feel the freedom of our fore fathers, and live free. The very history of the name and translation of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is size orientated in and of itself as “little big hill”—perhaps not only a historical sign that indeed, there is room for everyone to work—no matter their size.

With kind regards,
KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NEW YORK CITY

Dance Your Ass Off can Kiss my Ass

2010-01-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

I got home late, so you guys probably already probably tore into this, but here is my 2.5 cents. (Inflation, ya know)

Always sweet and professional Marissa Jaret Winokur parts as Dance Your Ass Off's hostess.

I saw one episode, as I do not have nor watch tv. However, while visiting family, I will watch tv, because some of them are regular tv watchers (whatever that means).

Ok, so I get the double entendre of "dance your ass off"... why did it have to be about weight loss instead of fitness? Or is it? Please let me know if you are a regular viewer. As a dancer, and having been around dancers..pretty much all my life (from age 4-- that counts as pretty much all my life, by the way-- in my book, anyway), and it is an amazing way to get more fit. And yes, I am also in Big Moves New York! Dancers are some of the world's best athletes. And as I recall my old ballroom teacher saying that as such, it would be considered an Olympic sport--one day. Even though there has been advocation for danceport to be included in the Olympics for at least ten years, no such possibilities were set in 2008, nor 2010.

Nonetheless-- it is a way to get fit. And Olympic in its own way.

I am sad that Marissa, who has always been a size positive person, who has contributed willingly and nicely as far as I know to NAAFA etc., is leaving. However, I do agree that she should have had regular interaction with the contestants, as she wanted. If I was her, I would want that, too-- it is normal.

They criticized her for her appearance? Say WHAT?! They can go bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep! She is in great shape. Not--she is in great shape for a full-figured woman. And a beautiful looking natural lady.

I think she is an excellent actress, wonderful hostesss, and good role model. And yes, I know she tweets what she eats....and is even fond of Red Velevet cupcakes, but she is trying to do the best for herself--making good and healthy choices. She still comes across as a positive person and one with integrity (ie. no sposal abuse, scandel, or drugs.) So......

Even though Mel B was my fave Spice Girl (back in the day); they are losing me at the concept with her as host. I understand the point-- she lost her baby weight by dancing. Yeah, ok. Actually they change the concept---- lose enough weight to look like a former, plastic surgery enhanced Spice girl. Not a cancer survivor who gives of herself, has a baby with a surrogate, is in a stable marriage. Yeah, ok--cause the 'skinny girl' should be you, and is, um, better. Mel B has had her share of tabloid trash. True or not....and yes, you can't always believe EVERYTHING you read in the National Enquirer, but you can believe some things. (They broke the John Edwards scandel, for example.)

Seems like fattys cannot even get a shot at being among their own. I friggin' hope Marissa ends up hosting Jeaopardy! when Trebeck retires! As if, but you know--hope spring eternal.

She is a competent hostess. I don't blame her for wanting to leave---- just another example of size discrimination, in my opinion. Don't worry Marissa... I am still in your corner, girl!

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
Director, FAT GIRLS FLOAT
Dancer and Promotions Directer, BIG MOVES NEW YORK

Happy 2010

2009-12-31T18:31:00.001-08:00

Thanks to all who made this a wonderful exciting year-- with more fun to come in 2010!

Good health and happiness to one and all!

Love
KIRA

My thanks to my Kickstarter Backers! video!

2009-12-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

And special thanks to Paul R. who, with only one hand--literally--got this ready!

Southwest Airlines' Food Gets POOR Nutritional Rating

2009-12-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

Me and Am NewYork have been at it--again.

Laughing out loud on that 6:45 am A train uptown.........

In today's (12/17/09) amNewYork, I found an interesting tidbit that literally made me smirk outloud.

There was a brief (one sentence!) article about the rating of nutritional value of airline food, and the rating of the major airlines in the U.S. "Nutrition advocate Charles stewart Platkin released his latest airline food health rankings which give the U.S. airlines a "health score" on a scale of 1 to 5 stars (5 being the best/healthiest."

Continental received 4.5 stars. Good for you, Continental! However, our friends in the non-fat friendly skies, Southwest Airlines, received 2 stars for its poor nutrition. Hilarious! Belittle fat people, but serve poor nutritional meals. Well, I think someone outta slap the snark right out of them.

FAT, FAT, and more FAT: Reality TV, Style, and NYC

2009-12-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

Can I have some fat, please, with a slice of fat,and a side of fat to go?

Saw some fat news in my usual journey uptown from the L'Est Village.

Got a FAT family? Well, let Jillian Michaels move in!

First article I saw was about a NEW fat reality show. I guess Jilliam Michaels is not having enough with on Biggest Loser; she'd like an extra helping of fat. Michaels is said to begin a new fat reality show on NBC training families.

What made me laugh in the article was that Michaels could not even comment about her own new show; the casting director--Jodi Thomas did. I have personally met Jodi, as she was also one of the casting directors for More to Love.

Here is what jarred me: "Michaels will handle not just fitness intervention but also help with emotional struggles, something Thomas said she's had success on with 'The Biggest Loser.'" Note to Michaels: if you would like to help 'people' emotionally and show you care, do your own damn PR. Showing an actual real and sincere connection equals better TV equals better ratings. Just a thought.

'Cause you know all us fattys will be "sitting on the couch eating bon-bons" watching that show. Not. Ahem. For the record, 10 years, no couch--39 + and no bon-bon.

See article here. That might not be news to yous (it's plural--I live in NYC, yo!) in the Fat-O-Sphere, but that was 'news' according to MY AM New York on 12/15/09, page 26.

Style

Ah, style, as in.. do you have any? Oh, wait, that would be manners. Opps, Nope. I forget, this is America 2009.

Well, someone with what seems to be style and class is Marie Claire's girl Ashley Falcon who takes on the fashion world at 5'2" and 220 pounds. She writes a monthly column at the magazine entitled "Big Girl in a Skinny World." I bet saying 'fat girl' would have been inflammatory in some way. (I ponder.)

I read the column, I think she did a fab job. of course what is interesting is the comments. Vile. Blah, blah, blah, "so obese at 220 pounds." Couple of things kind of stand out to me. She finds being chic at a size 18 an 'epic struggle.' Try a size 28, honey.

What I felt bad about was that she write about how she was invited to a 'stoli and stiletto' (good one, Ashley!) fashion party, but could not go because she was not dressed 'appropriately' and spent the time sulking on her couch instead. Now, I am SO sure that fashion people can be cruel (I saw/read The Devil Wears Prada), but I gotta believe that your smile and confidence wins over what you are wearing every time. Case in point. I was so happy I could cry (and kinda did) when I got to meet Mary Johanson from the Alliance of Women Film Journalists, who not only wrote about me on her blog; but became a backer to FAT GIRLS FLOAT! Now, I knew showing up at this swanky shin-dig, beautifully hosted by Jennifer Merin, in a stunning silk embroidered jacket, of About.com/President of the Alliance of Women Film Journalists, meant I should look as good as possible, but I also knew that 1) I was going to be the biggest chick in the room and 2)did not own anything 'name brand' including NO Prada bag. I do have a fake Jimmy Choo that one girl on the subway lusts after weekly.

However, I walked the room with my vodka, looking a little out of place among the uber-cool, but found people who were interested in me and in my film--regardless of size and specifically because of size--and my size. Make it work for you. Case in point--smile and substance trumps stilettos and label. Press the flesh, get a card, send a follow-up email greeting. You never know! I hope you give that due consideration next time, Ashley. Unless your couch is seeing some serious 'real' action, go out. Go to the party, the party of life--you're invited. You never know who you might meet--or share a taxi with. Wink.

The last thing I am going to mention is a combo--between the vile comments left for her, and others to read, is the whole fact that "they" think "WE" can't be--or allowed to use!- the term CURVY because we're fat. Oh, ok. Say what?! You can be ANY size and curvy. NO ONE owns the term, lady. I just don't get that how women can say that. A curve in the road, big or small , is a curve. A curve in freakin' geometry is A CURVE. We all have them, every person has them in some capacity. Curve of a CHIN (or double!) as example, perhaps. CURVE of a SMILE. At the same time, Ashley writes about "jeans that work for curvy women." Isn't it, as fat women, and the vast differences in our curves and fat storage that makes us so different and hard to fit? The 'standards' don't exactly apply--even though we have them (i.e. Lane Bryant). Curvy--uh huh-- we ALL have the right to use that word. deal with it.

However-- check out 'our' Ashley at Marie Claire. She is worth the read. And the picture is classic!

NYC drinks FAT

New York City's latest 'health' advertisement centers on the ill-effects of soda--but seems to ONLY mention ONE effect--FAT (of course).

Albany (New York State) has decided not to up the ante in the "Obesity Tax" as it was labeled by media and not tax soft drinks. And my beloved New York City has decided to create a campaign "Don't drink yourself FAT" or "Pour on the Pounds." At first it targeted alcohol consumption. Too many happy hours and beer specials. Now it is targeting soda.

Interesting...let's only mention FAT and Obesity, not any other harmful effects soda may have. I consider soda consumption and individual thing. I stopped drinking soda (let me do the math) about 15 years ago, when I loved back to the States. Soda, for my family, was not a regular thing. It was a holiday, we're-having-guests kinda thing. I would in general, and now--very rarely--will I drink soda. If I do, it is usually because I feel some type of stomach upset-- and it might be the quicker remedy to sip--ginger-ale or Coke-a-Cola for nausea. I am a tea-coffee-milk-water person in general. I do not crave soda, and am not in the habit of drinking it. For ME, I don't care for it, and do not consider it a healthy choice because it is filled with sugar, etc. One can equals 10 spoonfuls of sugar. It is just something that does not appeal to me.

NYC Department of Health notes that one can of soda a day can add up to 10 pounds. And orange juice can add 4 pounds a year with daily consumption, by the way. What I find interesting (?) is that if you are going to have a campaign for "healthier choices" disguised as fat hate, then at least offer a campaign with ALL of soda's side affects. Be comprehensive, dag nabbit.

Despite the 10 spoonfuls of sugar, soda does promote tooth decay. Soda erodes tooth enamel which leads to cavities. Don't believe me? The University of Iowa School of Dentistry did a test on what beverages were most corrosive to teeth and found that Red Bull and Gatorade actually corrodes teeth at a faster rate than Coke-a-Cola.

Soda is also very damaging to bones. What? Yup, it weakens the bones because it sucks out calcium due to the phosphates, and has even been associated with osteoporosis.

Negative caffeine effects have also been associated with soda as some people become caffeine dependent, and, though unproven, affecting brain development in children with overuse.

Lastly, James Duke, Ph.D. found that soda did damage white blood cell's ability to ingest and kill gonoccal bacteria for seven hours. Somehow, that sounds important.

My Dad used Coke in the garden to catch slugs. Ain't no one getting his tomaters.

So... NYC Health Department, why didn't you mention any of these other things in your ad campaign except FAT?!

Watch video and read it here.

Fat prejudice in healthcare leaves man homeless

2009-12-16T03:14:00.001-08:00

Fat discrimination. Fat prejudice in healthcare leaves man----homeless.

READ it HERE.

http://www.housingwatch.com/2009/12/14/minn-man-says-fat-chance-hell-keep-his-house-claims-hes-losing/?icid=main|main|dl4|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.housingwatch.com%2F2009%2F12%2F14%2Fminn-man-says-fat-chance-hell-keep-his-house-claims-hes-losing%2F

Link works.

INVICTUS by William Ernest Henley

2009-12-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

93 backers @ $6560.00! My sincere thanks! to all!

2009-12-13T16:40:00.000-08:00

My dear friends and suppporters!

WOO HOO! O my goodness! or as I am fond of saying-- Holy Smoking Joe Frazier! [who is following me on Twitter, btw!]

THANK YOU BACKERS! You are dear people and I thank you frm the bottom of my heart! Please know I will never forget this.

I do not know where to begin, but would like to thank each and every one of you. Your kind donations have given me so much inspiration to keep fighting the good fight.

After a long haul, and a long hiatus (2008), Fat Girls Float has been reborn. This one woman show has partnered with a special friend of the project who will be advising on edits and the shaping of the footage--and all the while trying NOT to make it look like a lazer light show at a Phish concert ("not that there is anything wrong with all that")! : ) But, I am excited to get on to the next step in post-production!

I do believe, on my own dime, that I will need to return to London due to poor audio. I believe the my Brit ladies add an interesting perspective to the film. I will also return to Los Angeles with the hopes that some special ladies will join me in front of the camera and have their say. And there is a few more people I'd like to shoot around NYC. We a great big wonderful community, and, as always, I would like to include everyone.

I want you to know how grateful I am for your generous support. I always say that humility is best reached through practice, and this endeavor was certainly a testament to that.

There have been good strides in the size acceptance communities. I want to believe in letting the plus-sized person become a part of the mainstream party, but there are many people, especially women, who still feel that they are on the outside looking in. I would like to erase that wall with this film. In the wise words of my friend Velvet, who has always been a great sense of support to me--personally and professionaly--this film is a quilt of all the special voices of women who walk around in plus-sized/fat bodies. Its inspiration is already recognized by an 18 year old girl who contacted me to say that the trailer served that purpose in her life. And all I can help but think is, who else is still suffering? How many more women can be helped? I thank you from the bottom of my heart in allowing me the opportunity to do that!

I'd like to thank JN for loaning me his camera and believeing in my idea.

JR and CZ-- this is ALL because of you! Thanks for the kickstarter.com invite! and a special thanks to CZ for the Jezebel.com tip-off!

This achievement would not be possible without the efforts and enthusiasm of Ivan Greene of FAT IN NYC.com and the Size Acceptance Salon: Chewing the FAT,
Corinna Makris of ThisLushLife.com/ACelebrationof Curves.com, Jay Solomon of MoreofMeToLove.com, and Golda Portensky of BodyLoveWellness.com.

Velvet--for always caring, and for always listening, and for always making me laugh!

With tender gratitude I also thank:

Bianca and Sylvia @ ZaftigChicks.com, Kay@ PlusFigured.com, M.E. Wood @BellaOnline.com,

Heather Boyle for your kind words of support, always welcoming me to film, and for putting it on bbwdistrict.com!

Anna North of jezebel.com-- thank you for writing about such an imoprtant points in FGF.
Kjerstin Johnson of BitchMagazine.com--thank you for the post!
My dear Raqui of LargeInCharge.com and LIC radio.com
My dear Aja Stubbs of BelleNoir.com and BellNoir Radio.com
My dear Tee@ fatgirlsguidetoliving.com
My dear Nancy Goddess for showcasing me on her TV Show and at Goddesses'.
Lara Frater @ FatChicksRule--why? cause you are a fat chick who rules!
Bri@ FatLotofGood.com--for your support, putting me on the feeds (Thanks Corinna and Ivan!), and your sheer kindness to feature me on your site!
Brie Brown @ BBWNetwork.com
Nicole @ FlabbyFabulousFashionista.com
BigGirlBlue@ TheCurvyShopper.com
Jo and Richard @ukbigpeople.co.uk
Jadox @ BigGirlProof--for your support, your song, and your support. (And your hugs!)
Di @ FatChic.net
MaryAnn Johnson @ Alliance of Women Film Journalists--- I am humbled, touched, and without words!
MoePie@ BigFat Deal.com
Rakisha White @ brooklynShoeBabe.weheartthis.com
Goofy for posting the jezebel article on dimensionsmagazine.com
Trillian's post on joyousbirth.com
Deb Beuregard
MsFatGirl.com
FatWaitress.com
ChicagoBBW.com
Atchka.com!

To my new producers: Alex Stone, Conner, Durette, and Nancy Goddess! Get ready! :)

David R. Garrett--for all his sheer kindness, special advice and ear lending.
Deb Malkin from Re/Dress and the lovely Bevin-- thank you for the support and my first ever FGF live showcase!
T.King--for your advice and support.
Bruce--for listening, advising, sharing, and caring!

For all of you who blogged, reTweeted or shared it on FaceBook! and any other web sites where FGF come up via Google, but are not found, whoever posted it on tumblr.com, dynamictube.com, and curvage.com!

If there is anyone I forgot, it due to sheer exhaustion! and I beg your apologies!

All my interviewees--you are brave! You inspire me!

All rewards will be sent out as soon as possible. Velvet will be personalizing your photos, as I will be the production stills, so it may take a bit of time from them to get them from Paris to New York and then out to you--considering the holiday card rush. I will be keeping you informed. I am not sure if I have a permanent home on kickstarter, but hopefully they will supply me with that information soon enough.

In the mean time, I would love if you could be my friend on FaceBook, and follow me on Twitter
(I am getting better at it! Right, Jay?!), you'll be able to stay more closely attached and up to date. please also consider following my on my blog listed below.

I remain, with a smile, a humble fat girl closer to her dream.....all because of YOU!

OK, queue music --> We Are the Champions! Yee ha!

My very warmest regards and the happiest of holiday wishes to you all,

KIRA

KIRA NERUSSKYA, director
F A T G I R L S F L O A T
New York City
fatgirlsfloat@gmail.com
www.fatgirlsfloat.blogspot.com

"In a culture where fat can weigh you down, the only thingthat keeps you from sinking, is the size of your heart. FAT GIRLS FLOAT."

+Ms. Shriver--you remain in my prayers+ +MyStarinFlight--this one's for you.+

Fat Collection for Cosmetics was a hoax!

2009-12-07T02:59:00.001-08:00

Unbelilevable! Thanks to for letting me know, Nancy! :)

A Call to Action--help me my Fat Sisters!

2009-12-07T02:54:00.000-08:00

HELP ME MY FAT SISTERS! FRIENDS, AND ADMIRERS!

I got your grassroots activism right here!

2009-12-05T23:24:00.000-08:00

This was filmed in September 2008 at Curves on the Catwalk March in New York City's September Fashion Week.

I am worth 10, 527, 000 in Peru!

2009-12-05T23:09:00.000-08:00

Um..... people in Peru were stealing fat. Say what? Yup, that's what I said.

'Fat for cosmetics' murder suspects arrested in Peru. JUST when you thought it was safe to come out of the water.... just when you thought we were making steps toward a definitive and definite dialogue about size acceptance. Some poor Peruvian crazy guys have to go start stealing fat people and cashing in on their adipose tissue.

According to the BBC article, "Four people have been arrested in Peru on suspicion of killing dozens of people in order to sell their fat and tissue for cosmetic uses in Europe.

The gang allegedly targeted people on remote roads, luring them with fake job offers before killing them and extracting their fat.

The liquidised product fetched $15,000 (£9,000) a litre and police suspect it was sold on to companies in Europe. "

IF that is the case 'down there,' and 1 litre is equal to 2.2 pounds of fat, and I weigh 319 pounds, then (scribble scribble scribble), according to my calculations, I am worth 10,527,000.. and no.. you can't buy me on MySpace!

How utterly horrible. Can you imagine being stolen for your fat?

And how scary is it that, "Police said the gang could be behind the disappearances of up to 60 people in Peru's Huanuco and Pasco regions.

One of those arrested told police the ringleader had been killing people for their fat for more than three decades.

The gang has been referred to as the Pishtacos, after an ancient Peruvian legend of killers who attack people on lonely roads and murder them for their fat."

I feel very bad for the people that were murdered--just unbelievable.

So it's not bad enough that some people won't be nice to us because of our fat, now they have to profit off of us, too.

What is this world coming to?

FAT GIRLS FLOAT featured in Jezebel article

2009-12-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

Fat Girls Float was featured in a Jezebel article by Anna North.

It is a bittersweet moment for me, because I really feel for the Lionel Shriver, who lost her brother.

Please read it here.

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NEW YORK CITY

Venezuela: Hugo Chavez now weighs in on being a "size activist"

2009-12-05T12:45:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Barreto-Leyvas reaches out to her fellow Venezuelans as obese dictator Hugo Chavez decides to weigh in as a size activist.

He said, ""Venezuelans, check yourself, you are way too fat." Those were the -- once again -- wise words of Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez on his very own 5 hour-long TV Show "Alo Presidente" broadcast every Sunday on National Television."

Jennifer is brave to talk about a man--talk that could get her in trouble. Having lived in the Soviet Union, all I can say is--be careful what you say about tyrants. So I consider Jennifer's work, words, and way of living revolutionary.

She notes, "Someone who has gained a tremendous amount of weight since he has been in power, living la vida loca and traveling all over the world, paid by us -- our taxes, tears and pain...us, the people, the suffering people.

While he said such a ridiculous statement, we overweight Venezuelans are living in the most fat-phobic country, under the most abusive and unacceptable conditions, where being overweight is worst than being a drug dealer or a delinquent."

Weight may in fact be an issue in Venezuala, but what seems more important is "the millions of homeless people who have nothing to eat, the thousands of kids living in the streets -- what happened to the promise he made them ten years ago?"

I admire spiritual revolution and the brave work of Jennifer Barreto-Leyva. Way to go, Jenn!

What can I say to my fat sisters in South America? You are in my prayers. And you are in the good hands of Jennifer Barreto-Leyvas.

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NEW YORK CITY

My interview in the Size Acceptance Salon: Chewing the FAT

2009-12-03T17:46:00.000-08:00

Sponsored by More of Me to Love, hosted by FAT IN NYC's Ivan Greene, Corinna Makris interviewed me about FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

Please visit the link to hear an interview with me..enjoy!

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is funded!

2009-12-03T17:06:00.001-08:00

My sincerest thanks... I have no words, probably because I am crying.........

Jared 'the Subway Guy' gains weight... and......

2009-12-03T14:22:00.000-08:00

I saw the article about Jared Fogle, spokes person for Subway.

Well,(shrugs shoulders), I was surprised. (And hearing Janie Martinez's voice in my head, "Kira, why are you always surprised?" But, I am not sure how or why. It seemed Jared was at a weight that worked for him, for a long time.

In my humble opinion,like anyone--in the public eye or not--weight loss usually results in some weight gain. Health at Every Size is a great approach.

I guess what I feel bad about the most is the scrutiny he will have to endure, the one we all endure publicly or silently about size. His size, our size, the size of the guy sitting next to you on the subway--or at Subway. (I do not eat at any chain or fast food places, except for COFFEE at Starbucks, and Dunkin' Donuts. My own personal preferences.)

I don't know, just a small wave of sadness came over me. I guess it is just to show people that it is a continuous struggle for many people. No one is exempt. There so much more and good to do in life, and part of why I would like to see the success of FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

I just wish Jared all the best, and hope that kindness finds him instead of harsh words and negative jokes.

I hear the words of my friend Melissa Largen'Lovely say in one clip--"We're in this Fat Girl struggle, all of our lives." There is no escaping it, I guess, is one way to take her comment. But the only way you are free from it, is when you free yourself of the struggle of struggling against yourself. Alice Siebold said, "Save yourself or you remain unsaved."

Let me end with the words of Marianne Williamson that continue to inspire me daily:

"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

--Kira Nerusskaya
New York City

FAT GIRLS FLOAT--Maxi Craft!- @ Re/Dress 12/9!

2009-11-30T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hello you nice people....

Are you free on December 9th?

Of course you are! Come out to Maxi Craft at Re/Dress in Brooklyn!

Perseverance is PRECIOUS and precious is PERSEVERANCE

2009-11-22T17:10:00.000-08:00

I finally, actually got out of work kind of early on Friday. I thought to head downtown enroute to home and grab me a big cup of Pirate Radio.

TANGENT: I completely heart Richard Curtis. If he ever gets 'unpartnered,' someone please put my name in for the 'next up' lotto. Not only am I a suck for British men and redheads to boot; but I like his humor. He has an intimate sense of dealing with relationships on film. Of course, I also think he is a bloody genius. My favorite film is It's a Wonderful Life and Love, Actually is second. Now, I know what you're thinking it's the whole Christmas theme thing, but it is actually THE MESSAGE. Now, partly it is because as wonderful as dramatic film is, and some of my very dear friends are dramatic feature film makers (David R. Garrett). What I see as prolific in any accord on film can be reduced to what I think life is really is about: romance and comedy, simply: a romantic comedy. As is my contention, and as David will attest to me proclaiming, "All movies are about love."

As luck would have it, there was no Pirate Radio playing on 14th Street, but the universe put me at the right place and time to check out Precious. And so I did.

And there is definitely love in PRECIOUS.
I will first preface this by saying that I DID NOT READ THE BOOK. And DO NOT have any plans to AT THIS TIME.

In general, I thought the film was very good. I like a couple of Daniel's tactics in his sequencing in a few scenes.

Now I am sure people are wondering how 'fat friendly' is it? It isn't, but it isn't unfriendly either. The character is what she is: a victim. Until she finds that love comes in many forms, and she found it in herself, her teacher and classmates, people that she meets along her life journey, education, and in hope.

I think that Gabby Sidibe did a fabulous job! I think more importantly that the fact Lee Daniels chose this particular novel with a fat heroine is one step in the right direction for Hollywood and film makers.

I don't want to ruin it for those of you haven't seen it, and are planning to. I do recommend it--so get your fine self to the theatre!

The only thing that yanked my crank was, get this, the styling of Gabby/Precious in the daydream sequences. These sequences are done in that she is thinking herself as a 'star' from dancing with 'her light skinned boyfriend' to walking the red carpet. There are a few scenes, and I might be able to recall them all, but I will share what I remember and why is bothered me. I will only talk about what she is wearing, not why she is thinking of it. If you don't want to read further go to the bold lettering marked RIGHT HERE.

First off, when she is 'in character' I found the style and clothes chosen to be a proper fit for the character and setting. And I liked that no matter her size, the character always seemed to do her hair and make-up. That shows self-pride and self-respect, combating the stereotype that we have neither.

The first is when she is in a modeling sequence and wearing what looks like a trench coat or jacket that is black with white polka dots. Now, I know that polka dots are in right now.....? (Are they? Honestly, I have no idea.) I also think as big women we should wear what we want to. But, as I type that I hear words with the thick Brooklyn accents of my friends Vita and Marianne saying, "Every big girl needs two things: a full length mirror and a best friend."

Back to the polka dots. They weren't bad, they weren't good. Kinda like purgatory. I didn't think they flattered her figure particularly; it seemed to confine it.

Next. Dancing 'with the light skinned boyfriend'(could have been a taller dude--my opinion with a director's eye, which would have been biased to better frame her) on a raised stage. She is wearing what seems to be a silk black nighty that translates as black silk moo moo like poncho with a feathered edge and a scarf. When she turns to the side you can see her figure and curves, wearing some type of 'undergarments' that look way more interesting. Why couldn't she have worn those and the scarf?!
When I saw this scene I did feel frustrated because immediately to mind instead of seeing 'great new actress in a new film and a step in the right direction for size diversity in Hollywood' what I saw was : 'Wow, change music and it looks like a Weather Girls video." WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY FROM THE MOO MOO WITH THE BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS TO PROVE IT.

Now, in looking back at pictures of the Weather Girls, who, in 1982 seemed 'huge' to me, don't even "look that big" whatever that means. I think because I recall the fact that 'hiding their assets' was customary 'back then.' What bothered me is that they didn't show Gabby's curves. They were hidden.

And the third sequence that I seem to remember was when Precious was walking the red carpet. She wore a seemed to be long sleeve (? maybe three quarter length?)red velvetesque floor-length gown with a leopard collar. Again, not that it was a 'bad dress'--and I understand they wanted something 'over the top', but it hid her curves, and, once again as it wasn't form fitting. Hey look, you cast a 350 pound actress to portray a 350 pound character. Good. Awesome. And a beautiful woman, to boot. Would it have killed you to show her curves, too? If it was supposed to be a sequence where she was dreaming to 'be' the 'it' girl---then don't hide her under cloth--show her off in her entirety, in her beautiful curves, and every roll of her 350 pound frame--which, bless her, she wears very well, has a good feeling about herself, and is proud of her body. All I am saying is, show the curves, man. Show the curves.

RIGHT HERE in Precious is where you can see the curvy-liscious Ms. Erica Faye Watson with a minor role, but splendidly done. GO ERICA! Well done, lady! My very best congratulations. A good person, hard-working, talented, smart, and damn funny! Worth mentioning is the priceless look on the face of Sherri Shepard's character, the school secretary when Precious introduces her to Lenny Kravitz. Who wouldn't put the phone down!?!

So what about perseverance and Precious? Well, it is perseverance that gets the character through the horrific events that make up her life. It is perseverance that is precious as you cannot give up, no matter what. Do you hear me, Sir Winston?
Further, it is Precious who is the embodiment of perseverance to live her life, continuing to get an education and making future plans despite the obstacles she had to jump, break-through, and keep charging ahead. Weight was only one of her problems, and in my opinion one of the last ones on her plate (pardon the pun)considering all with which she had to deal, decipher, and dare to dream.

And this film is the emBODYment of the fact that weight should not weigh you down.

FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

---KIRA NERUSSKAYA
New York City

2009-11-17T20:17:00.000-08:00

FAT GIRLS FLOAT a documentary film by KIRA NERUSSKAYA
by FatGirlsFloat

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is the provocative, engaging and moving new documentary from 300 pound filmmaker Kira Nerusskaya, who shares her message of perseverance and heart with the world.The film showcases intimate interviews with fat women from around the world who discuss size discrimination, political activism, fat and size acceptance, and their experiences as fat women under attack in a thin-centric world. Please be a part of making this film by pledging HERE. Any donation in any amount is appreciated. We only have until December 13th to raise the rest of the funds we need for this next step of post production, so please help us spread the word about this amazing project by tweeting, reposting this paragraph in your blog every Wednesday or on your site and telling your friends. Donate Now.

FAT GIRLS FLOAT

2009-11-15T17:21:00.000-08:00

Don't forget the FAT GIRLS FLOAT Salon call 11/15

2009-11-14T06:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Saturday Fat-o-Sphere!!!

Thank you to OST Coffee in the East Village for waking me up!

I am currently at Ivan's getting ready for our super salon call tomorrow...which reminds me of that old TV commercial....about shampoo. Now, I know what you're thinking...Salon Selectives? No....the old Breck commercial....where Heather Locklear tells two friends, who tells two friends...who tells two friends….and so on and so forth. So, I don't care if you wash your hair, just don't do it at 7pm on Sunday night….because I need you and your bestees to join me and hear why FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

Ready for another cup of coffee,

KIRA NERUSSKAYA
NYC

WHERE TO GET INFO ON THE SALON CALL
http://www.meetup.com/SizeAcceptanceSalon/calendar/11829542/

WHERE AND HOW TO DONATE TO FAT GIRLS FLOAT
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1791863791/get-in-the-pool-with-fat-girls-float

FAT GIRLS FLOAT ONE MINUTE TEASER
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xads89_fat-girls-float-a-documentary-film_shortfilms

FAT GIRLS FLOAT Chews the FAT on 11/15!

2009-11-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

Hello there Fat-o-Sphere!

Back in 2006, I created a blog called The BBW World when I began production on my then-titled documentary film, The BBW World: Under the FAT.

With a 5 minute "this is how you hold the camera" lesson, I was off to the BBW Vegas Bash in 2006 at the Star Dust to party, talk, meet, and record BBWs and their admirers from 11 countries and all over the United States. I didn't get to interview all 1300 bashers, but.. I did my fair share!

From there, I began to manage living my dream of pursuit of collecting stories from fat women/BBWs, their admirers, and friends and giving them a voice.

After Vegas, I set out to Chicago, London, Paris, 3 cities in Russia, Los Angeles, Boston, and all over the New York metro area. If I had my wishes come true, I would love to travel the entire world collecting these stories on film: imagine talking to fat women, women of size, and thier admiorers from Mauratania, Tonga, Amsterdam, Renjevik, Japan, China, the Middle East! If I had the means, there is no place I would not go!

We all share something in common, and that is the world's misunderstanding--yet fascination and critique--of us and our bodies. Everything in life and the biological living world, especially people, come in all different sizes and shapes--and so does beauty. And we are included in this beautiful world, and it is about time the rest of society makes room for us. I would like to think that the tides are changing, and warming up to welcome us. Look how far we have come already!

Upon that reflection, I hope we give thanks to those who have pioneered and paved a way for each of us. I also hope that we can come together and share a sense of unity, welcoming everyone within the spectrum of fat and size acceptance and diversity, where ever they may be on their journey. I think that would provide strength to those who fight some very hard daily battles with media, the general public, and the internet to feel a greater sense of support.

I really do believe in my heart that there is room for everyone. I also truly believe that we are far more powerful together than any one of is alone.

Enroute to greater solidarity and a free space that can free us, I am delighted to announce that Ivan Greene has generously created Size Acceptance Salon for that very purpose. A place where every person of the fat-o-sphere and size acceptance communities can come together and chat.

In his very first salon, Ivan has partnered with Corinna Makris of This Lush Life and A Celebration of Curves and feature FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

I am very honored and excited to be a part of a great new cohesive event.

I will be talking about the film, my fundraising campaign over at kickstarter.com, and am thrilled to talk and take questions from all callers.

So, I will you Sunday night at the salon! It reminds me of the images I have always had of Russian literary salons, and the French and German philosophy salons of yeateryear--where great minds think alike!

See you Sunday at 7:00pm EST!

KIRA NERUSSKAYA,
FAT GIRLS FLOAT

ps. You can send any questions you might have over to Ivan!

New Size Acceptance Salon to feature FAT GIRLS FLOAT

2009-11-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

Large In Charge Radio with Raqui

2009-10-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

Kira Nerusskaya on Belle-Noir Blog Radio

2009-10-04T17:55:00.000-07:00

O, Conan!

2009-10-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

Now I know he just suffered a concussion---- but.....

No matter how far I think we are getting in the world of size acceptance and positive media ( not far--but every little bit counts); there is always something to set us back.

On the Friday October 2's episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien; he had a sketch in which he has an ongoing 'fight' with Newark mayor Cory Booker. In the skit, Conan talks of his latest medical mishap and 'introduces' his fake neurologist-- a FAT doctor--eating a sandwich. OK, well at least the 'fat guy' was smart enough to be a doctor-- ok--but WHY is he eating a sandwich? Because he wanted to show that the doctor was so busy he had to eat on the run? WHY is the character on stage with food? If was showing, which is my guess, that he wanted to show a doctor with blase approach-- why not have him listening to an ipod while he works rather than eating? I just don't get it.

See for yourself: Conan's 'fat doctor'

Maybe it isn't entirely negative, but I fail to see it being positive as well. To top it off, Conan, supposedly, in words I heard him say-- that he has a brother who is around 400+ pounds.

No FAT GIRLS in Sheffield

2009-10-04T09:57:00.000-07:00

Well, you can't blame a fat girl for trying!

I wont be on the plane heading to Sheffield, England for the Sheffield Doc fest '09 representing FAT GIRLS FLOAT in the Meet Market Forum--which is like speed dating for filmmakers and funders. There is always next year-- but hopefully as a full-fledged doc!

O, well, Sheffield-- you missing the mark, but I forgive you!

And I was hoping to include some level of a "full monty" (which is where the film THE FULL MONTY was filmed/took place)had I been invited.

Next time....

KIRA

Iranian Police Crack Down on Curvy Mannequins

2009-09-24T16:31:00.001-07:00

I was thinking-- is this for real?!

I wonder what Fatima Parker has to say about this.........

Check it out here...Curvy Mannequins get the crack down...

Young designer used "normal models" in London

2009-09-24T03:24:00.000-07:00

Very nice-Mark! Bravo! It is about time fashion caught up with the bodies of women in the world. I think despite the change in co-workers-- he and they shined and were well received.

I am all for models of whatever size-- like any industry--do your job-- but, include and reach out to everyone. After all, we are in this together!

See story here: here .

Have a great day!

Get your float on!

2009-09-21T23:11:00.000-07:00

I have just launched my KICKSTARTER account-- trying to fund my film FAT GIRLS FLOAT........ get a look here:

Hello my fine floating friends and colleagues,
I was invited through a friend to become part of kickstarter.com. It's basically a social networking site for art projects. They let you post your project and fund raise. I am asking for the big 5 g’s, and like some fat admirer’s opinions—the more the better!
The site is not public yet and it required an invite from the creators, or from someone who has a project on the site. As of September 15th any project launched will have to give 5% of their amount raised to the website. NOT me. I was invited and am launching before the due date, so I feel doubly lucky and honored.
This is my first attempt at fundraising. Yet as we all know, time and money are necessary for the completion of any project. I have been working on my own time and my own dime, with about a year of down time due to lack of special equipment. Now that that’s been changed, I need some special features, animation, and help to get to the next stage of post-production, and to complete what I set out to do in 2006—let the world hear what we are like, and who we are from our own voices. And there are a few more voices I would like to add to the chorus of floaters.
This project was conceived by my being in the many communities of the fat/BBW world. I am one of you! I hope you feel I represent you well, and I hope you will embrace this endeavor. So many political and social movements throughout history have started as grassroots projects—and have gone on to change the law, social constructs within society, and the world. I can’t imagine Dr. King or Gandhi giving up-as this is all about perseverance! I know and believe in my heart that we are more powerful together than any one of us is alone. And it’s lonely trying to keep momentum; finally having some footage and trailers moves the project in a new direction.
I would feel really honored if you can join me in a $5.00 pledge, especially those whom I have supported over the years; I really need you now. I have 90 days to raise this amount. If I raise the set goal amount—I get funded and get to keep the money and keep working! If I do not meet the mark, everyone keeps their pledge and nothing happens. So I really need to make the goal! Every dollar counts! If everyone from the various bbw/fat communities gave a dollar—well, we’d have it done in a day! 
Knowing that unless you can show you have a built-in audience as well have some serious experience, first time film makers have it rough in trying to get funding, especially in this economy. I have applied for funding through NYSCA, IFP, UK’s CHANNEL 4, The GOOD PITCH, and my Sheffield Doc Fest Meet the Funders submission is pending.
I was full of trepidations to ignite fundraising at the moment, as I wanted to lay low and find out the Sheffield outcome before setting off to reload a new website and look for additional funding and grant writing—which is what I have spent the better part of this year doing. But, this opportunity literally fell in my lap—and I am choosing to CARPE DIEM! It is better to move ahead slowly than stand still!
I also want to take the opportunity to once-again thank everyone who let me come in and film at their event, and to those who sat down to speak with me on film. You were and are brave! On my first shoot, one of my first interviews was with Brie brown and she stated, “Kira, this is like a love letter to all of your fat sisters.” And then we both started to cry. Then I yelled and laughed at her for making me cry and she pointed and laughed at me for doing the same.
It’s that sense of community and love that I have enjoyed for the last 15 years as part of this community—that despite our ups and downs with media, with each other, and with ourselves—that give me courage to forge ahead and fight the good fight. I know the tides might be changing and in some way the shackles may be loosened, but I think there is a long journey still ahead to change the thoughts of people and to lift the negative connotations of fat and fat people. I want to do that, I know you want to do that, and I need your help to do that. I wanted to contribute to our community, and I thought this was a good avenue to pursue—not really knowing just how tough it would be.
Each amount donated has a special gift that comes along with it (now I really sound like I'm fundraising for public television). All the details are on the website page which I am linking below.

So, find me on Kickstarter: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1791863791/get-in-the-pool-with-fat-girls-float
In closing I ask if you can send this to everyone you know, link it, post it, and blog it, or shout it from the rooftop, I’d be very grateful and then some.
Should you feel you have received this message in error, please hit reply and remove, and I will happily take you off the list—no hard feelings. But, I do hope you get to see the trailer(s). Hit me up on You Tube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2E8T7bt2D4
And then check out the different audio version on Daily Motion:
http://www.dailymotion.com/FatGirlsFloat

I hope you enjoy the trailer (s) and its message, and I hope you join me in showing the world that FAT GIRLS FLOAT.

Warm regards from my bikini,

KIRA NERUSSKAYA, Director
FAT GIRLS FLOAT
NEW YORK CITY
fatgirlsfloat@gmail.com

Hey' yall....

2009-09-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

I did some good work tonight, so I am heading out to dance!

Film Synopsis

2009-09-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

A short synopsis of FAT GIRLS FLOAT

“…[ W]e have this sick cultural idea that there is something wrong with fat and that a fat body is a marker of a defective person. This idea is so strong, so deeply entrenched in the culture, that we absorb it, it gets lodged in our psyches, and most people, fat and thin, come to believe and act as if this oppressive idea is reality.” (Dr. Linda Bacon, 2009)

Tired of no one sitting next to her on the M14 bus, 300 pound film maker Kira Nerusskaya decided to start on a journey to find out if fat women were treated with the same discrimination in other cities of the world. She started her journey at a number of nightclubs, single dances, and “bashes” (weekend social events for fat people) across the United States. She then journeyed across the pond to London, Paris, and three cities in Russia. This is a new angle on the ever-emerging “obesity epidemic” because it does not center on weight loss, but on the weight of self.
From small hills to all out mountains, these women with curves from Los Angeles to Russia talk what it is really like not to be a diet, and to walk around among the their societies and be hated, the butt of a joke, disrespected and invisible. They don’t end their interviews saying they want to go on a diet. They want to defeat the “thin privilege” of life, no matter their culture, and live their life happy and healthy, just like everyone else--without discrimination—in the workplace, in romance, on the street, and at home.
Fat people, women in particular, don’t always get ‘that chance.’ Even though it seems that the media is slowing warming to the larger size, after all 65% of the American population is considered overweight or obese, the media still spins the dial at those who embrace their size as if there is something wrong with it—that they should be embarrassed, distraught, and seeking change. Despite America’s war on obesity—more like the war on the obese—many women love their curves and have begun to not apologize for them.

Fat knows no boundary—economic or professional status, race, age, ethnicity. We all know someone fat, or overweight. Yet, fat stigma, like obesity, is on the rise worldwide. How deep seated and how early we begin to stigmatize fat people is best illustrated in a research study revealing four year old children liked fat people least, as “[f]at phobia is part of the cultural landscape.” (Bacon, 2009)
Nerusskaya travels to finds the pride of curves celebrated in the United States—from singles dances to porn, despite romantic discrimination; a new beginning with a discern for the word ‘fat’ in Russia, an influx of media hatred in Great Britain, and age-old discrimination in Paris. Yet, despite how their society views them, each needs to persevere in order to keep going. Salmon might swim upstream, but fat girls float.

Hello internet!

2009-09-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

I am trying to post my latest version of the trailer for FAT GIRLS FLOAT.......

Let me tell you about it:

FAT GIRLS FLOAT is an independent documentary film in which a 300lb. film maker takes the audience on a journey through fat subculture: activism, social communities, and those who do not let their weight ‘weigh’ them down. Despite many glares, glances, and gloating from media, family members, medical communities and the public-at-large; fat women from four countries tell their tales of sorrow and success. The audience will ultimately find that within the worldwide culture of “thin-is-in;” some women possess an inner strength to persevere through life without remorse or regret-that keep them afloat.